struggle with food

ONE difference between the FREE and the CAPTIVE

by

I’ve been wanting for a while now to answer a question on here that many of you have asked and that I have pondered on and researched for many years:

Why do some women break free and others don’t? Why can a group of women go through my program, or through 21 days of detox on the forum and some are victorious while others just can’t seem to make it.

Now, there is, of course, no easy answer to this. Some ladies have deep layers of abuse and pain from their past that first need to be revealed and healed by Jesus Himself. Others have a root of bitterness and unforgiveness that prevents them from growing in God or moving forward in any area of their lives. This can only be fixed by a healthy dose of repentance and falling in love with the One who knows how to break the hardest heart and heal the deepest pain.

The question remains though: What if you’ve dealt with your past and you’ve let God into all those hurtful places, but you’re still not free from this devastating bondage of food addiction? What if you are reducing the anxiety surrounding your relationships by refusing to please people and letting go of control and yet… no freedom?

It might be that there is ONE last chain on your foot, the same one that remained on mine for many years: I DIDN’T SHOW UP!

  • I wanted to do great and amazing things for God… but the enemy kept me from showing up for daily quiet time…
  • I wanted to be a runner, an athlete, an instructor… but the enemy kept me from even taking a few daily steps…
  • I wanted to be a great speaker and writer…but the enemy kept me from writing one short post for years…
  • I wanted to be thin (or just decent looking)…yet the enemy kept me from showing up for support and guidance in this area for the longest time…

The enemy might know better than you that if you CAN ONLY be diligent in a few little things, you will reap a great harvest.

So I’m here to tell you that there are no “special” children of God. In the end, there are those who show up and those who don’t. That very confident women you see at Bible Study probably started showing up (with fear and trembling at first) a long time ago. The good looking ladies you see at Curves probably pushed through humiliation at first and started showing up when they weighed much more than they do today. Many free ladies had to push through the fear of applying for that job, going for that interview or writing that first post (that no one commented on I might add) in order to reach for their dreams.

It is not easy to CHANGE so we keep saying “I can’t change”. It’s true, you may not be able to change on your own, BUT YOU CAN SHOW UP, and that’s where the Holy Spirit’s power kicks in and change happens.

  • If you don’t SHOW UP for, what it will initially be, pretty-boring-no-fireworks quiet time with God, YOU MAY MISS THE GOING DEEPER AND FALLING HEAD OVER HILLS IN LOVE WITH THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HEAL YOU AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER.  Just show up, and ask “Lord, here I am, I’ve shown up, the rest is up to you. Please help me!”
  • If you don’t SHOW UP for that snail pace walk, you MAY NEVER RUN THAT MARATHON OR PLAY THAT GAME OF TENNIS THAT YOU’VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF! Just show up and while you’re walking cry out to God “Lord, here I am, this is a sacrifice for me, but I’m showing up. Please take me further!”
  • If you don’t SHOW UP for that Bible study, that meeting, or that support group YOU MAY NEVER MAKE THOSE FRIENDS OR GET THAT SUPPORT THAT CAN HELP YOU STAND WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING UP!!

Please, I want to beg you, do this one thing when all else fails, when life is unbearable and when you are sure that you will never get a grip on your eating: JUST SHOW UP IN GOD’S PRESENCE… JUST SHOW UP AT WEIGHT WATCHERS…JUST SHOW UP AT CHURCH…JUST SHOW UP AT YOUR COUNSELOR…JUST SHOW UP AT THAT BIBLE STUDY YOU DIDN’T FEEL LIKE GOING TO

Be careful not to put God in a box by presenting Him with a “freedom-plan” for your life. Your healing and freedom that God has in mind, might happen in unexpected places or through encouragement and words of wisdom from the most unlikely people.

If this post speaks to you, then please come show up on our Forum, show up for my 12 Week Program, or find a Christian Support group close to where you live and show up…God wants to do a miracle for you, but you have to move with the Holy Spirit and go where he leads you…

I’m showing up with all of you wonderful ladies…when you’re sitting there with your Bible open,  wondering what you’re doing, or walking out in the rain…remember that you’re not alone… I’m somewhere out there, bringing God my sacrifice of consistently showing up, just like you…and waiting, just like you, for His Glory to be revealed in and through my life

Galatians 6:9 (Amplified Bible)

9And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.

Love,  Heleen

 

If you want to read more about this topic, please see these earlier posts/articles of mine:

Just Show Up

Take 2 Crucial Steps to Stop Overeating and Bulimia

Here are some resources for you:

NEW: INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING online or in Beaverton Oregon
Call Heleen at (503) 914-2749 or Schedule online: www.LifeSolutions.io

Click on the image below to learn more about the 12 Week Online Program: Women Struggling with Food

Read my story. Click on the image below to download my ebook: God will I ever be free?

Appetite for Freedom WORKBOOK and DVD.
A great resource for small groups or individual use.
Click on the image below to find out more:

ONE “SOBER” DAY can turn things around

by

Are you familiar with the AA saying of “one day at a time”? There is a lot of wisdom packed into those few words.

The truth is undeniable: TODAY IS ALL WE HAVE. TODAY WILL SHAPE OUR TOMORROW AND AS A RESULT, OUR FUTURE. But let’s face it, dealing with TODAY is not easy. It’s easier to spend planning today and shopping for that “perfect plan” or “perfect diet” than to CHANGE TODAY.

So that said, let me get to the more important matter of “HOW ??????? How do you change TODAY?”

Let’s first of all look at your today:

  • Are you thinking about how and where you can get your hands on diet pills (even some “natural” pills?)
  • Are you desperately looking online for a new diet that WORKS?
  • Are you watching hours of TV while crying and eating at the same time to not think about this anymore?
  • Are you wondering again if God cares and if you’ll ever be free?
  • Are you binging and hiding in your house again, afraid that people will see how much weight you’ve gained?
  • Are you finding yourself in a cycle of binging, purging, and hating yourself again?
  • Are you afraid to write on the forum or email me because you feel like you’ve failed yourself and me again?

LET ME SHOUT THIS FROM THE ROOFTOPS: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!

There are so many ladies from around the world, some of them living around you, that feel the same. Some of the brave ones write to me or on the forum, but most of them are hiding, too ashamed to show their faces, let alone live their lives.

But don’t give up yet, there are also many ladies living around you who have had ONE SOBER DAY! These girls are coming out of hiding. Even after one day, they feel as if they can breathe again. They are laughing again. They stopped fighting with their husbands. They can tend to their children again. They’ve rearranged their closets and gave themselves a pedicure. They have gone back to church. They are spending time with God and friends, and they feel HOPE for the first time in decades…

YOU TOO CAN HAVE THAT FIRST “SOBER” DAY, AND THE NEXT ONE, AND THE NEXT ONE… UNTIL YOU WALK FREE FROM THIS DEVASTATING STRUGGLE WITH FOOD.

What is a “sober” day?
It’s not rocket science really. It most certainly has nothing to do with complicated diets and hours of planning. It’s simply a day where you eat enough food every time you’re hungry, but only food that you will NEVER dream of binging on. If you have 21 of those days stacked on top of each other, your body will not be craving the binge food (usually food high in sugar, fat and white flour) and your need to binge will have diminished.

How do you have ONE SOBER DAY?

Call out to Jesus! There’s no other way! You can’t do it on your own! Without God’s help, it’s just another diet, and another failed attempt to control your weight. But when He helps you, YOU KNOW IT’S A MIRACLE!! You know it has nothing to do with some “magic diet,” and you are not afraid that it might not last… because it’s not up to you anyway.

I know I make it sound so easy but it’s not. However, when I feel sorry for myself for having to deal with this struggle, I remember all the other “addicts” out there. Why do alcoholics, drug addicts and even people addicted to pornography get the message so much clearer? – I CAN’T CHANGE MYSELF; I NEED JESUS.
Many people have to cry out to God to help them not take another drink or smoke another cigarette, surely I can cry out for the Holy Spirit’s help to not open that first bag of chips that will send me into a mindless spiral of binging.

WE ARE NOT ALONE, AND THE SAME POWER THAT RAISED JESUS FROM THE DEAD IS AVAILABLE TO ALL OF US!!

  • Start believing today for that FIRST SOBER DAY!
  • Start calling out to God for that FIRST SOBER DAY!
  • Wake up every morning and expect that FIRST SOBER DAY!

God doesn’t love me, or any addict who found freedom, more than He loves you! He wants to set you free.

Your sister in the struggle and the faith
Heleen

 

 

 

NEW: INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING online or in Beaverton Oregon
Call Heleen at (503) 914-2749 or Schedule online: www.LifeSolutions.io

 

Click on the image below to learn more about the 12 Week Online Program: Women Struggling with Food

Read my story. Click on the image below to download my ebook: God will I ever be free?

Appetite for Freedom WORKBOOK and DVD.
A great resource for small groups or individual use.
Click on the image below to find out more:

Can Facebook Pack on the Pounds?

by

Let me immediately kick off with a disclaimer:
The title of this post was meant to grab your attention, I obviously didn’t mean to imply that the entity “Facebook” can (in a direct way) have anything to do with anybody’s waistline.

I also want to assure you that I am in no way a Facebook hater, on the contrary, like many others I found FaceBook to be a great source of communication with friends and family locally and especially overseas.

So why write this post?

Well, unfortunately, if you struggle with food or any other addiction for that matter, you might be adding Facebook to a long list of “‘mind-numbing activities”. In other words, you might be using certain objects or forms of entertainment to escape from reality and put off dealing with your problem.

If you want to break free from this struggle, it is crucial to learn to live in the present moment. You can not afford to put off surrendering this struggle to God until tomorrow or even for one hour! Every moment matters! The way you live TODAY is a clear indication of what your future will look like.

We have to take back our lives with the help of the Holy Spirit, and it’s impossible to do if we constantly “disconnect” from our minds and bodies. The enemy would like nothing more than to bring an innocent little thing such as Facebook into your life and use it to entangle you. Many people with food struggles find themselves spending hours on Facebook, in front of the TV, on weight loss websites, or on forums.

Now, most of you ladies already know that I have a Facebook page, a blog, and a forum for this ministry. These things can all be used powerfully by God if we go on there with the intention of finding or giving encouragement, but then get off quickly and get on with the business of living free in this world of seduction.

Warnings:

  • Surfing other people’s pages or “walls” can leave you dissatisfied with your own life, and make you reach for food to ‘numb the pain’
  • Spending too much time on places like Facebook can steal valuable hours of your life that could have been better spent in the Word, on your family,  exercising, building relationships, or following your dream and purpose in life

If you already have a problem with this, I would recommend you get out and buy yourself a Bible study so that you can get back into the Word of God and surround yourself with the truth. The enemy set up lies around our lives and the ONLY WAY TO REFUTE THESE LIES IS WITH THE TRUTH OF GOD’S WORD (2 Cor 10: 1-5)

Remember, other people, showcase only the best parts of their lives on places like Facebook. However, if you don’t surround yourself with the Word of God you might not see this and buy into the enemy’s lie of  “everybody has a better life than me”

I’m calling all of you ladies to join me in resisting the enemy when he ever so subtle introduces “mind-numbing activities” into our lives (James 4:7) I assure you that I also have to fight the good fight daily.

It will probably always feel easier to flop in front of the TV or computer than picking up your Bible. But please believe me when I tell you: Long hours in front of the TV and computer is sure to bring death to your life and circumstances. On the flip side, time spent in the Word and God’s presence will ALWAYS, without exception, fill you with LIFE AND PEACE.

Please go read again all of Romans 8, but let me at least quote this passage to remind you that how we spent our time and what we focus on shape our lives.

Romans 8: 5-8 (NIV)

“Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires, but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God”

Love you ladies

Heleen

 

Resources 

NEW: INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING online or in Beaverton Oregon
Call Heleen at (503) 914-2749 or Schedule online: www.LifeSolutions.io

Click on the image below to learn more about the 12 Week Online Program: Women Struggling with Food

Read my story. Click on the image below to download my ebook: God will I ever be free?

Appetite for Freedom WORKBOOK and DVD.
A great resource for small groups or individual use.
Click on the image below to find out more:

 

 


What gets you out of bed in the morning?

by

Okay, guilty as charged, I’ve been looking over Rick Warren’s shoulder again. I mentioned on our Members Forum that I’m doing the 40 Days of  “The Purpose Driven Life”  – AGAIN!

Now don’t despair for me just yet, it’s not that I keep forgetting or that I”m still searching for the purpose of my life.
I simply get so swept up in the rat race of life that I tend to wander off course. I forget what”s really important and I get caught up in the mundane grind of life, moving forward without any purpose or joy.

So I’m sorry that I have to drag you along on my journey of re-focusing, but this is where I’m at right now, and I thought a few of you wonderful ladies might need a little reminding as well.

These few key points of Rick in DAY 3 got my attention again:

Common things that drive our lives:

1. Many people are driven by guilt
2. Many people are driven by resentment and anger
3. Many people are driven by fear
4. Many people are driven by materialism
5. Many people are driven by the need for approval

He goes on to say: “There are other forces that can drive your life but all lead to the same dead end: Unused potential, unnecessary stress, and an unfulfilled life”

There is nothing like “unused potential, unnecessary stress and an unfulfilled life” to make people reach for something to bring “meaning” or “joy” to their lives (food, tv, porn, alcohol, drugs etc)

Don’t fall for the enemy’s lie that you just have to stay away from sin and you’ll be okay. Our lives are not about fighting off the enemy day after day. Yes, we are at war and we have to fight for our dreams and hearts, but there is a great deal of joy in finding our purpose and going for it with all we got.

In my life I found that I’m so much more able to resist the enemy’s attacks and the harshness of life when I”m fully alive with the purpose and calling that God has over my life. However, that purpose has changed over the years and through the seasons of my life, so I have to stay in the Word and close to God to know what it is. IT IS THE ONLY THING THAT HAS EVER BROUGHT LASTING JOY AND FULFILLMENT TO MY LIFE – LIVING TRULY WITH AND FOR GOD.

This book ” The Purpose Driven Life” is jam-packed with Scripture, and that’s one of the reasons I like it so much.

If you’re having a hard time figuring out what your purpose is in life, then I would strongly recommend you read it. You can also read this post of mine: Stop the Nonsense: Chase your Dream

I can not help myself, I simply have to end with this poem that Rick Warren quoted. It is one of my all-time favorites:)

YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE FOR A REASON

By Russell Kelfer

You are who you are for a reason.

You’re part of an intricate plan.

You’re a precious and perfect unique design,

Called God’s special woman or man


You look like you look for a reason.

Our God made no mistake.

He knit you together within the womb,

You’re just what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,

And no matter how you may feel,

They were custom-designed with God’s plan in mind,

And they bear the Master’s seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.

And God wept that it hurt you so;

But it was allowed to shape your heart

So that into his likeness you’d grow.

You are who you are for a reason

You’ve been formed by the Master’s rod.

You are who you are beloved

Because there is a God!

Amen to that!
Love you ladies lots
Heleen

What if you’ve tried EVERYTHING and NOTHING worked?

by

I’ve been asked this question many times before so let me try and shine some light on this matter.

Most ladies who struggle with compulsive overeating and binge eating have literally tried everything you can think of to lose weight. They’ve tried fad diets, healthy food plans, diet pills, and other dangerous methods of purging, without success. They’ve tried to eat only when hungry, count points, prayer, counseling, and yes, many have tried my program… without success.

Why?

How can it be that after you’ve tried EVERYTHING, you are still dealing with the same stuff?

Like I’ve said, I know the feeling, and this is the conclusion I’ve come to in  my own life:
I DID NOT DO EVERYTHING I COULD!

It was the only logical explanation, and it might be for you too.
When I stopped denying the truth  I had to admit that there was ONE thing I didn’t do: OBEY

Now please don’t stop reading just yet.
I know nobody likes to hear about obedience.  Obedience is not easy and not much fun (just ask your kids), BUT IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO TRULY LIVE IN FREEDOM. If we disobey God and think we’re bossing ourselves, we’re fooling ourselves. The Bible clearly says that we are being ruled by the enemy if we’re not under God’s rule (Romans 6)
It’s the one or the other, there’s no neutral ground.

Have you tried obedience yet? I’m talking about wholehearted obedience to the Word of God and the voice of the Holy Spirit. Only you can answer this…

There are so many advantages to obedience. According to the Bible we remain in God’s love and joy  if we obey Him.
John 15: 10-11
If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

I dare you to start obeying the voice of the Holy Spirit today, it can be done, millions of people obey Him daily, you can too my friend!

  • When He calls you into His presence – OBEY Him and find a quiet place
  • When He nudges you to get some exercise – OBEY Him and ignore all the excuses
  • When He urges you to step out of your comfort zone and follow your dreams – OBEY…

The more you obey God the more you will be able to resist the enemy’s temptations (James 4:7)

In my humble opinion (gained through trail and error):  ONLY DAILY TIME WITH GOD AND EXERCISE WILL GET YOU IN TOUCH WITH YOUR SPIRIT AND BODY AND OUT OF THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL OF EATING DISORDERS

There is one thing you might not  have tried and the one thing that will bring peace and joy back into your life: OBEDIENCE

It’s so hard to get this flesh under God’s control especially if you’ve been doing your own thing for so many years, I know. It may be painful and you might cry many tears of frustration, but I beg you to OBEY anyway. It will be worth every tear you cry.

Psalm 126:5
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.

YOU CAN DO IT GIRL!

Love,

Heleen

PS: Need help and encouragement to live the obedient life. Please click here to sign up for a free trial week of my program for women with eating disorders and food addiction

In the Eye of the Storm

by

I want to apologize to all my loyal readers. I have not been able to write on my blog much recently simply because I find myself in the midst of  one of life’s unforeseen storms.

My husband lost his job a few weeks ago and like so many others in this situation waves of uncertainty, anxiety, and financial stress rocked our boat pretty bad and left me feeling sick to my stomach.

I guess you can say I’ve been given a good old fashion faith test. Do I practice what I preach? Will I actually lean on God when it matters most?

Of course my type A personality will never allow me to simply sit back and wait patiently. I always first have to try my best to save a person or a situation. But in the end, after much kicking, screaming, and striving this girl always comes face to face with her own limitations. This is the place where I finally throw in the towel and hand the reigns to God.  I’m happy to report that God is still enough, He is still our provider and the only ONE who sustains us in times of trouble.

Andrew Murray describes this fight with self before we surrender very well in his book “Absolute Surrender’. Peter followed Jesus for years but his total surrender to the will of God only came after He denied Jesus three times. We see in Scripture how he wept bitterly when he came face to face with his own flesh and the realization that he can not do anything on his own after all. This is a good place to be, at the end of ourselves, where we surrender and God takes over. Paul came to that same place, as did many other people throughout the Bible.

So the challenge is before me once again:

  • Will I keep trying and failing on my own or will I surrender to God?
  • Will I keep working into the wee morning hours to make more money in our businesses or will I trust that God gives to his beloved in her sleep?
  • Will I try my best, and promise myself daily, not to turn to food when the stress levels rise in our home, or will I realize again that only God can help me with this?
  • Will I control and manipulate people to fix our situation, or will I pray more and ask God to take full control of the situation?

Our lives are truly marked by our surrender. If we surrender to God DAILY, LIFE  flows into our lives. But if we try to rule and run our own lives, we actually surrender to the enemy and let DEATH (sin, anxiety and fear) creep back into our lives.

I still find myself smack in the eye of that storm, but I’m clinging to two passage in particular. The one is Psalms 3 and the other Jeremiah 17:5-8

This is what the LORD says:
“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who depends on flesh for his strength
and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

He will be like a bush in the wastelands;
he will not see prosperity when it comes.
He will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.

“But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.

He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”

I refuse to turn into a dried-up bush in the desert! I keep reminding myself that the biggest mistake I can make for this day is to put my faith and trust in man (myself, my husband, or my friends). They can make me feel better, but if all is said and done it’s only God who can make the impossible possible.

I know I’m not alone in my storm today.
So I want to pray for each one of you ladies who find yourself in the eye of a storm this very minute. May God hold you very close while He works out the details and heals the wounds. If this storm or situation brought you to the end of yourself, the end of your strength, and the end of your plans, may you learn to surrender all  to Him and trust like a little child trusts her mom or dad.

Nothing, nothing, nothing is impossible with our God!

Lots of love

Heleen

Hanging with the Girls

by

I have a confession to make: I don’t do well in groups and for this reason I tend to avoid “girly gatherings”. Make no mistake, I want to hang with the girls, I do in fact hang with the girls, but I’m always sort of … awkward.

I had an opportunity to spend time this past weekend with some of my amazing girl friends. We attended a simulcast of Beth Moore on her latest book “So long Insecurity”. It was wonderful, the Spirit of God was moving and I was so grateful that I’ve pressed through my “awkward problem” to be part of what God was doing in the hearts of thousands of women in that specific moment in time.

In fact, the only reason I did not make some kind of excuse was because I hoped and prayed that Beth might shed some light (as the title of her book indicated) on my little problem. It turns out my problem was not so little or so peculiar after all: Over 300 000 women showed up across North America to listen to Beth’s message on how to get rid of insecurity

I’ve already written a little about her book and how much it blessed me in a previous post, but something stood out to me: Insecurity has wormed itself into so many areas of our lives that we’re not even aware of. Not only is it my INSECURITIES that makes me feel awkward and as a result act quirky when I find myself in a bigger group of women, but it follows me around like a shadow. So I need to find ways to correct my vision ALL THE TIME: Taking my focus off myself and putting it back on Jesus, where it belongs.

Beth came through with a few practical points that I meant to share with all of you. She taught from Ephesians 4: 17-28

She started by saying this:

INSECURITY IS NOT THE SAME AS HUMILITY

INSECURITY IS NOT A  “WEAKNESS”

INSECURITY IS UNBELIEF!

A Secure woman is…

1. Saved from herself
She doesn’t have to “find her place in a space” (Think of how I try to figure out where I fit in at a women’s gathering, and end up feeling awkward) She goes into a situation PREPARED, knowing ahead of time who she is in Christ.

2. Entitled to Truth
A secure woman refuses to believe the lies of the enemy and the world around her. One of the lies of  our society that Beth mentioned: “To be valuable is to be sensual or at least desirable”
I also believe many of us are sold on the lie that “I have to meet certain standards/please certain people/accomplish certain goals in order to feel good about myself and be acceptable”
THE TRUTH: No career, no degree, no husband, no amount of fame, and no amount of money can make you secure. SECURITY IS ONLY FOUND IN FALLING DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH JESUS AND KNOWING EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE IN HIM!

3. Clothed with Intention
Proverbs 31:25 speaks of the strength and dignity that a secure woman of God is clothed with. There is not accidental way for this to happen. We have to intentionally, daily put on the dignity and put off the insecurity. Some of us (including yours truly) might have to do it more than once a day, hey maybe even hourly.

4. Upended by Grace
Beth said: “People who REALLY BELIEVE THAT THEY HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN HAVE GRACE FOR OTHERS” A secure woman is not easily offended and she always forgives. Not because she’s some kind of “super-woman” but because she wants to live free from hatred and bitterness, and she has truly accepted God’s forgiveness for her. Grace is a gift that we ought to accept for ourselves and give away freely to others. Without it we can wallow in our insecurity forever.

5. Rebounded by Love
WE NEED TO BE CONVINCED THAT JESUS LOVES US to truly love others. His Love for us is real, He died for us and He tells us how much He loves us in the Bible. However, WE HAVE TO ACCEPT IT BY FAITH until it penetrates our hearts. It’s only through that Agape love that we can stop the envy, jealousy, and competitive spirit that thrives among insecure women. Secure women love even their enemies.

6. Exceptional in Life
Secure women are an endangered species in our society. Beth speculated about what could happen if  Christian women can stop focusing on themselves (also those of us with a low self esteem) and clothe themselves with strength and dignity daily. Can you imagine? We can be exceptional in every area of life. We can be the exception to every rule and every label the world has created.

I was inspired to get up and start putting on dignity and strength daily. I dare you to open your eyes to any insecurity that might be lurking in your life. Pay special attention to what it has cost you in ministry and in life.

Most of us have reasons for our insecurity. Instability in your home, a significant loss, a dramatic change in your life, or personal disposition and limitation could have caused you to be insecure.

But what ever caused it, you don’t have to stay like that. Whatever or whoever broke your heart, God is in the business of healing broken hearts. Beth said something about this that stood out to me “If a heart doesn’t heal it hardens”

Maybe you already have a hard heart. I have good news for you: Jesus can break the wall that you have build around your heart to protect yourself from further hurt  and bring healing to those deep wounds you’ve hid from the world.

SECURITY IS ONLY FOUND IN JESUS!

I came to realize that although I might have won many battles in allowing the Holy Spirit to renew my mind, there is always more work to be done. So I will be printing out the prayers in Beth’s book,  and writing down the Scripture verses on note cards to memorize.

Victory over the lies of the enemy happens in the everyday moments of our lives:
 It happens when I’m looking at a picture of myself and the enemy presents the lie “Just look at you!”  or when I’m walking into a room of strangers and he whispers “What will they think of you?” In that moment I have to CHOOSE to win the battle by refuting the lie with the truth: “I’m a daughter of the King, fearfully and wonderfully made by my Father. I’m the bride of Christ and He loves me with an everlasting love”

Would you please join me in shaking off the denial, admitting that there is a problem, and becoming part of the solution, for our generation and also for all the little girls who will follow us.

Love you ladies!

Heleen

PS: It would be great to talk more about this subject on the forum and encourage each other to identify and uproot the insecurity in our lives.

My 12 Week Online Program for Women struggling with Food might be an option for you if you need help to break free from Food Addiction and also deal with deep seated insecurities. Please have a look at it, your life matters to God. He is waiting to heal you and help you clear up the “brain fog” so you can enjoy life again.

If you are not a member you might be interested to click here for my FREE EBOOK: “God will I ever be free?”
Click here if you want more information on becoming a member:  12 Week Online Program for women who struggle with eating disorders and food addiction

Take Good Care of God’s Little Girl

by

You might remember my post a while back about my struggles to potty train and pacifier-wean my little girl. People kept telling me to relax, it will happen, and even though I’ve raised three kids before her, I was growing more skeptical as the weeks went by.

However, today I can testify with great joy that it happened…all of it! I can tell that my husband is just as relieved as I am because yesterday he came up behind me and gave me a big ol’ bear hug, saying “Thank you for taking such good care of our little girl”

Of course, this was super nice to hear and made me feel all warm and gooey inside, but it also made me feel strangely sad. I was sad because I felt God asking me ever so gently, in that special moment, if I was also taking good care of His other little girl: Heleen. I had to choke back the tears because I know that I’m not always a good steward of my own body, mind, and spirit.

When a woman just had a baby it’s almost “natural” to forget about her own needs and just focus on the needs of the baby. Most new moms find themselves exhausted and frazzled soon after that little person comes into their lives. However, at some point in time, when our kids are growing up, we realize that it’s time to take care of ourselves again.

Unfortunately, most women with eating disorders stay in that place of self-neglect and even self-abuse. Many times we are people, pleasers and perfectionists. We work our fingers to the bone for others and harm our own bodies in the process. We stay awake when others sleep, starve ourselves when others eat, work when others rest, and worry about things that others don’t even care about. Sadly many of us “treat” ourselves with junk food because we feel that it’s the only good thing we have. It might even be our own distorted way to take care of an otherwise depleted and deprived body.

Upon closer investigation and allowing the Holy Spirit to pinpoint some stuff, I became aware of the huge difference between how I treat my little girl and her mom (me).

I still eat food that I will never dream of giving to my little girl (unhealthy or no vitamins at all)
I watch much more TV than I would allow her to watch (adults don’t need lots of TV either:)
I don’t take naps even when I’m utterly exhausted
I don’t drink enough water
I go to bed way too late
I don’t take the time to play and laugh
I have no patience with myself and mercy for my own mistakes
I sometimes talk rudely to or about myself

Do you take good care of yourself? It doesn’t matter what your age, you are God’s little girl. He loves you with an everlasting love, and His eyes are on you every moment of your life.

Please note that I’m not suggesting you become self-focused and self-centered, goodness knows we have enough of that in our society. Of course, our focus should be on serving God and others. However, you can not be of any use to your children, your friends, and your ministry if you don’t take care of your very basic needs first.

Remember how Jesus called the disciples to get away with Him to eat, to rest, and to pray? There were a lot of sick, needy people around Jesus, but I believe He was showing us, through His own example, that we too should be diligent in taking care of our temporary houses of flesh, so that He can use us for His glory. If you listen closely you will hear the Holy Spirit voice encouraging you, counseling you and guiding you into what to do next that will be best for your whole person. I guess it all again boils down to SURRENDERING EVERY MOMENT OF OUR DAY, and consequently all of our lives,  to God. All it really takes is waiting, listening to His voice, and then, of course, doing what He tells you (obedience)

I encourage you to listen closely today and hear the gentle voice of God whispering…
“Take good care of my little girl”

Another daughter of the King
Heleen

NEW: INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING online or in Beaverton Oregon
Call Heleen at (503) 914-2749 or Schedule online: www.LifeSolutions.io

Click on the image below to learn more about the 12 Week Online Program: Women Struggling with Food

Read my story. Click on the image below to download my ebook: God will I ever be free?

Appetite for Freedom WORKBOOK and DVD.
A great resource for small groups or individual use.
Click on the image below to find out more:

Do you Believe?

by

Have you prayed to be set free from food addiction for years?

Have you asked God to heal your child, repair your marriage, supply finances, or give you your heart’s desire for a long time?

After all this time, you might be telling others that you still trust God and you have faith, but somewhere along the line, you stopped believing…

You can be honest with God you know. He already knows what you are thinking and what is going on in your heart.

Unfortunately unbelief is one of those “poisons” that creeps up on us. We don’t wake up one morning and BOOM! no more faith. It usually happens gradually as we keep falling into the same sin, keep waiting for an answer, or keep praying for the same thing year after year.

Remember the woman with the issue of blood who only received healing  after enduring many years of suffering?

One thing about her hits me every time I read that passage: She had faith…she literally crawled through the crowd to touch the hem of His garment because she was convinced that if she could only touch His clothes, she will be healed.

Dearest woman of God, I beg you not to give in to unbelief. Unbelief can keep you from your miracle, your freedom, and your growth along the way.

Be honest with God, then repent from unbelief, and ask Him to restore your faith. You are in step with the Word if you ask for faith:

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see”
(Hebrews 11:1 NIV)

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6 NIV)

“We live by faith, not by sight.” (2 Corinthians 5:7 NIV)

IT IS EASTER!

No better time of year to start believing again that Jesus died for YOU! He came to set YOU free! He came to heal YOUR broken heart!

He cares about every part of you that is in pain or bound by sin, yes even your disordered way of eating.

Come to the cross… and may you experience the Savior’s touch this Easter dearest woman of God.

Love, Heleen


The Wonderful Cross
Isaac Watts (adapted by Chris Tomlin)

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died
My Richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride

See from His head His hands His feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown

Oh the wonderful cross (2x)
Bids me come and die and find
that I may truly live

Oh the wonderful cross (2x)
All who gather here by grace
draw near and bless your name

Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an off’ring far too small
Love so amazing so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all

Oh the wonderful cross (2x)
Bids me come and die and find
that I may truly live

Oh the wonderful cross (2x)
All who gather here by grace
draw near and bless your name

Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all

and the beauty and the shame
in the glory of His name
Oh the wonderful cross

Oh the wonderful cross (2x)
Bids me come and die and find
that I may truly live

Oh the wonderful cross (2x)
All who gather here by grace
draw near and bless your name

Click here to listen to this song performed by Chris Tomlin


Isaac Watts

Time to Get Angry!

by

Maybe it’s time to get angry. I felt my blood pressure rise and a “holy anger” came over me while reading a few emails of ladies these past weeks. These were emails of pain, bondage, and hopelessness and while my heart was bleeding for each one of these precious women, I was also getting so mad at the enemy.

I’m angry because of a vicious lie Satan has been using for ages to keep us in bondage. It’s the lie of “you can’t possibly come to God in this disgusting state that you are in”

Do you realize how many women are kept in bondage daily because they believe:
“I can only go back to church once I’ve lost some weight”
“I will join that women’s Bible study once I’ve stopped gambling”
“I will talk to a pastor after I’ve ended this relationship”
“I can not pray while I still have these evil thoughts”
“I can not read my Bible while I still yell at my kids”

Ladies, IT’S TIME TO GET MAD AT THE ENEMY!

We don’t have the power to save or change ourselves.  So if the enemy can just get us to believe the lie that we have to fix ourselves before coming to God we are trapped!

I am adding this part about the prodigal son that I’ve posted before because it is so important to hear again.

God is calling you, just as you are. You might be dealing with incredible pain, shame, or anxiety at this very moment. You might have just eaten so much food that you are in physical pain. Maybe you just purged and you feel shame hanging like a cloak around your shoulders. Maybe you are past all these feelings and you just feel a great numbness inside of you…

Seriously, God is waiting for you! He saw everything you did and He is still waiting and calling…

The voices of condemnation, guilt and shame that you hear are not of God but of the enemy who wants to destroy you (John 10:10)

I would like to remind you today of our Father’s heart. The parable in Luke 15 about the prodigal son gives us a peek into the heart of our heavenly father. He is looking for you, waiting for you to return to Him. He doesn’t insist that you first clean up your act or that you get rid of your filth before you come to Him. On the contrary, when He sees you taking the first few steps, He will run to you with open arms, welcoming you and showering you with love.

Please don’t try to first get “better” before you come to God. It’s the enemy’s age old trick to keep us in bondage.

It is only in God’s presence that we are cleaned and changed. You can not change yourself, but He has all the power to heal your broken heart and help you change the habits and addictions you’ve picked up to numb the pain. Better yet… He wants to heal the pain you are trying to numb…

Listen to what the Amplified Bible says about the father of the prodigal son:
“So he got up and came to his [own] father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was moved with pity and tenderness [for him]; and he ran and embraced him and kissed him [fervently]” (Luke 15:20)(emphasis mine)

Do you see that the father was moved with pity and tenderness! Our heavenly Father has that same pity and tenderness towards us every time we come to Him, even in our filthy state. This might not be the first time you come to Him, but PLEASE don’t stop coming.

I found freedom from bulimia when I started crying out to God EVERY TIME I was binging or purging. I would cry and tell Him how bad I felt about myself, how ashamed I was, and how I needed Him to help me. He heard, He took pity on me, and drew me close to his heart with tenderness. You are his child too, He has no favorites, He wants to do the same for you!

Just run to Him my dear friend, repent, and accept His forgiveness. Jesus came so you can be free (Isaiah 61)

Your sister in Christ
Heleen