Heleen

How to Get UP When You Fall

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Seriously, let me get this off my chest and let you off the hook at the same time: It’s not IF we fall, but rather WHEN we fall. All of the people around you that seem to have it so together and make huge successes of their lives have learned only ONE thing that you didn’t: HOW TO GET UP!

We live in such a broken world, and yes it’s not fair that we have to carry our cross on our hips (literally) while others hide theirs under their tiny sweaters, but we all struggle with something. Everybody has bad days, and EVERYBODY FALLS!

If you have an eating disorder or struggle with food addiction, you need to realize that RECOVERY IS A JOURNEY, and yes, the journey can be long and exhausting.
In spite of significant victories and years without sugar, you might find yourself in front of the freezer, eating ice cream straight from the tub when life throws you a curveball.

Now don’t think for a minute that I don’t believe in miraculous healing. I believe that God can and will heal you from food addiction in an instant if He so chooses. However, if His will for you is to walk out your journey to freedom, then I would advise you to arm yourself for the trip. To say “I will never, ever, ever fall for that again” is just setting yourself up for failure, self-condemnation, guilt, and shame.

So now that we’ve established that you and I are not the only ones with wobbly legs, the question remains: How do you get up?

What is the first thing that comes to mind after you have fallen and your eating is spiraling out of control? I’m not talking about the pre-fall-stage where you’re still toying with a bit of this here and a morsel of that there, because at that point you might still feel that you have things under control. No, I’m talking about the flat-on-you-face-stage where you know you’ve once again lost all power, you binged for one week straight, all you can think of is your next meal, and you’ve easily gained five to ten pounds. When you hit that place, you know you’re on your knees, you don’t wonder anymore.

Usually, I experience the following emotions and thoughts after a fall: First guilt, then shame, followed by its evil twin; self-condemnation. Then I usually I start looking around for someone to blame. In the end, despair and hopelessness will sweep over me, and the enemy will whisper in my ear “You will never overcome this, you might as well give up.”

I know all too well how intense these emotions of hopelessness can be and therefore I want to reach out my hand to you in your place of despair and tell you: VICTORY IS NOT FAR AWAY, BUT YOU HAVE TO ACT QUICKLY!

The enemy can gain so much ground in our lives if we stay down. The longer you stay in that place, the deeper you will sink. That place where you have fallen can change into a pit of captivity that can be your home for the next few months or even years.

WHAT NOT TO DO:

1. Don’t look for a diet. Resist the urge to go on the internet and read up for hours on the latest diets out there. You will end up eating stacks of food while trying to find a “quick-fix” that DOES NOT EXIST.
2. Don’t go over every little detail trying to figure out how it happened. It probably happened gradually, and you can not change the past. Rather spend your energy on getting up and moving forward.
3. Don’t blame your husband, your kids, your friends, my program, or God for your fall. Okay if you have to blame someone, start with the devil and then take responsibility. The blame game will ruin your relationships and keep you laying down longer.

WHAT TO DO:

1. ALWAYS GET BACK TO BASICS! Diets don’t work, pills don’t work, excessive exercise doesn’t work, and starvation ends in binging and purging. So throw out that Chinese food and chocolates and go stock up on vegetables, fruit, lean meats, granola bars for those weak moments and oatmeal for those carb cravings. Make a few salads, cut up some fruit and cook a chicken to be prepared for the first three tough days. YOU ONLY NEED THAT FIRST DAY OF VICTORY TO TURN THIS THING AROUND! You might have a week of working it up to that FIRST DAY, and that’s okay, but keep trying until you get there…

2. TAKE IT TO GOD: Number One will not work if you don’t give it over to God! LIVING HEALTHY IS JUST ANOTHER DIET IF YOU DON’T SURRENDER IT TO GOD! Believe me, after a fall you need a good cry before God. You might not know it, but at this point, you might be avoiding God because you are ashamed. Also, you may be disappointed in Him for letting you down, AGAIN.
Tell God how you feel, it’s not He who fails us, but He does understand that we feel that way sometimes because He so understands our human nature. Not only did He create you, But He also became flesh, and although He never sinned, He understands. ESTABLISHING A DAILY TIME WITH, GOD WILL BE THE ONLY THING THAT WILL HELP YOU UP EVERY TIME YOU FALL, PLEASE TRUST ME ON THIS ONE.

3. GET MOVING! You know it, there’s no easy way to say it, YOU HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO GET ACTIVE! Read my article on “Hate to Exercise?”. Exercise is a huge motivator to eat healthily. It also helps you fight depression and lack of energy that usually accompanies this struggle. Don’t make any more excuses! Never mind how great your obstacle, someone else has a bigger one, and God has an answer. So ask Him to help you find a way to get active DAILY!

5. TELL SOMEONE! After talking to God about it, tell a friend, a spouse or a counselor that you’ve fallen. If you don’t have anybody, please email me about it. I will be happy to pray for you and encourage you in any way I can. It is so important to tell someone else because there is freedom in getting the truth out there. It also gives us a clean slate to start fresh, and it always helps to be accountable to someone else. Don’t let the enemy have a field day because you are too proud to admit that you have fallen. We all fall! I write about all my failures and nose dives on this blog for exactly this reason: To not give any room to the enemy by living a lie, and to encourage you to NOT FOCUS ON THE FALL, BUT IMMEDIATELY GET BUSY WITH GETTING UP!

Don’t keep laying down; it only opens a door for bitterness and unbelief. You don’t need those in your life: YOUR GOD IS JEHOVAH RAPHA (THE LORD YOUR HEALER), AND HE’S STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU WITH HIS HAND EXTENDED, JUST WAITING FOR YOU TO TAKE IT, GET UP, REPENT, FORGIVE YOURSELF AND KEEP GOING!

Proverbs 24:16 (NIV)
“for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity”.

You can do it, girl, get up again and keep running the race.

Heleen

 

Please click on the links below to learn more:

NEW: Individual Counseling ONLINE or in BEAVERTON, OR
Call Heleen at (503) 914-2749 or
Schedule online: www.LifeSolutions.io

365 DAYS to Transform Your Life

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IN OUR STRUGGLE WITH FOOD AND WEIGHT, TIME IS EITHER OUR FRIEND OR FOE, EVERY DAY COUNTS. Just think how quickly your next birthday or next Christmas keeps rolling around, while you still find yourself stuck.

All the promises that you can lose 20 pounds in 7 days are just not true. Even if you find that “perfect” diet and lose 20 pounds in 30 days, it’s bound to backfire, leaving you with more weight in the end and an even slower metabolism.

PLEASE BELIEVE ME: THERE ARE NO SHORTCUTS, WE HAVE TO CHANGE OUR LIVES FOR GOOD.

I have been at that place where NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK more times than I can count. Even after I dealt with many of my issues, I kept looking for ways to lose the extra weight I’ve gained over the years. It was a constant battle because after years of dieting my body was not doing quite what it was supposed to.

So I took up the challenge that I set before many ladies in my small groups and the ladies who joined my online membership site: GIVE IT ONE YEAR – 365 DAYS OF HEALTHY HABITS.

Now this way of eating has absolutely nothing to do with FOLLOWING A DIET.

It’s about changing your life, and especially your health,  by consistently eating healthy EVERY DAY FOR ONE YEAR. It’s especially about making up your mind to not be sidetrack by SLOW OR NO WEIGHT LOSS, STRESS, SICKNESS, HOLIDAYS, RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS, AND A BUSY LIFE. These things are difficult, but I’m afraid it’s part of life, so you can not let it become your excuse. During this year it is crucial to COMMIT to eat healthy NO MATTER WHAT CONSISTENTLY.

Of course I knew this would benefit me, and sure enough, it did. I lost weight, slowly, but the pounds kept coming off. Also, it was such a relief to be rid of the ever-present anxiety of “I messed up” or “I better eat all I can tonight because my diet will start tomorrow”. I had a year so I had time to recover from slip-ups.

Other benefits caught me entirely by surprise. After eating vegetables with lean meats and fruit as the main course of every meal for about six months, I realized that while people around me got colds and illnesses, I didn’t. This was huge. We have a big family, and as the mom, I always got sick alongside my “patients,” but not anymore.

Also, cravings all but vanished. Not in my wildest dreams would I ever have guessed that there would come a day that I would NOT WANT CAKE. After eating fruit often for months, I stopped craving sweets. So yes, sometimes I still eat sweets, and there had been times when I got myself into a bind and had to go through a time of resisting again, but my body is now working with me not sabotaging me. Getting up after a short relapse is so much easier because for the most part (at least 80% of the time) I eat healthily. Please note: You can fool others and even yourself, but you can not trick your body. If the food you eat is not truly healthy and in it’s purest form, I’m afraid nothing will change.

I also picked up the challenge to exercise CONSISTENTLY for one year. Not the kind of exercise where you work out like a maniac for three days and then take a break for three months (been there, done that). No, instead, the kind where you exercise 4 to 5 times a week, NEVER MIND WHAT HAPPENS AND NEVER MIND HOW MEDIOCRE THE EFFORT.

I agree that merely strolling forever will not help much, but it is the consistency that changes your life. After six months, I was excited to start doing more. Who would have thought that I would actually like exercise? However, this would never have happened if I didn’t first make it a part of my life. Make no mistake I felt sorry for myself EVERY DAY FOR THE FIRST THREE MONTHS, and I had to call out to God every day to help me.

Also, consistency in your Spiritual life WILL TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE: I always thought that this “pray-and-read-your-Bible” every day was just a legalistic thing that we don’t have to obey. It turns out, we don’t have to, but “eating” spiritual food can also transform our lives. Sure it might not feel good at first, and it might get “boring” after a month or so, but if you keep at it you will not believe what it will add to your life.

Every day the enemy, the world and the people around us pin “things” to our lives. We get saddled with stress, loneliness, pride, responsibilities, and temptations. Imagine yourself walking around with those things, and getting more piled on for a month or a year without being washed by the water of the Word or letting Jesus heal your broken heart with His Word and by his Spirit. It’s unhealthy, like eating junk food for a year. It clogs your spiritual arteries, and it leaves you depleted and sick. TIME IN GOD’S PRESENCE AND IN HIS WORD IT’S NOT FOR GOD’S BENEFIT, IT’S FOR US.

Eating healthy, exercising and most importantly, spending time in God’s presence are gifts that He gave us. However, the enemy blinds our eyes and the eyes of the people around us so that we believe those gifts are burdens.

TAKE ONE YEAR

  • EAT HEALTHY – IGNORE THE SLIP-UPS
  • EXERCISE – STOP THE EXCUSES
  • LET GOD INTO YOUR LIFE BY GIVING HIM YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION: TIME

TODAY CAN BE THE FIRST DAY OF YOUR 365 DAYS.  If I could do it, so can you. I’m just another girl like you with a lot of issues and a lifetime of struggling with food, but we have an awesome God.

Want Freedom? Fight for it!

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So last week I had writer’s block… or so I thought…
I couldn’t write anything decent. Honestly, sometimes I’m just lazy, but this was not one of those times. I seriously felt unable to type a single sentence.

I knew that all you amazing ladies would forgive me for not writing, but it was a little more complicated than that. See, I am finishing up an ebook. Yes, the one about surrender that I promised you guys months ago! Also the one that was done a year ago, and the same one God has been laying on my heart to finish ever since. So I finally got it edited, and was just suppose to make a few last minute changes as recommended by my editor. But I had nothing…

And then, as if this was not enough, life came crashing down: Sick kids, problems at my husband’s job, computer hick-ups (not good if you have online businesses) and a few emails from “well meaning people” that made me doubt my own sanity …

I couldn’t understand why I felt so overwhelmed. Why didn’t I have any peace? Could I possibly be slipping? This could not be happening!

Now I have to admit that I briefly turned to a candy bar (only one, thank you Jesus!). After that I had a talk with myself: “Now come on Heleen, you should know better! What do you always tell your friends? Okay, stay calm, think! Of course, I have to get back to my program… ”

So for two days and two nights I scanned my program. I anxiously flipped through the Bible. I listened to Beth Moore, Joyce Meyer and all the other ladies of wisdom that I knew. Nothing. My peace was really gone!

Next I started talking to people: My husband pretended to listen to my strange rantings and my friends nodded sympathetically. Still, nothing! No major words of wisdom, and no revelation. I was not binging (yet) but I felt stuck and my anxiety escalated as the problems and relationship issues around me multiplied.

I’m sure you can see what went wrong, but I couldn’t see it for the life of me: I DID NOT TURN TO GOD!

When I finally connected the dots, I prepared myself for a long talk with the only ONE that can help me. I made sure the kids were otherwise occupied. I stretched myself out on my bedroom carpet, a box of Kleenex next to my right ear and my open Bible by the left ear. I waited…

“It’s the Devil”

Just that! No big revelation. No long heart-to-heart that makes me cry off all my make-up. All this time it was enemy attacks and I couldn’t see it?

When I got over my initial shock I saw it as clear as day. Indeed, the enemy knew I had to finish this. He also knows that PROCRASTINATION is the opposite of CONSISTENCY, something God has been teaching me in order for me to stay out of bondage!

In the past I would just PROCRASTINATE as a way of life, but since God has been showing me how crucial CONSISTENCY is, I tend to resist the urge to procrastinate. So the enemy knew he had to work a little harder, throw some pebbles and boulders in my path to wear me out and hurt my feeling. Sure enough, that did it.

I realized that my mistake was not in getting discouraged when all this trouble came my way. My mistake was in trying to fix it myself. As always God is teaching me to give up control and cling to Him. He has the answers, all of them, for every season of my life.

This time it was as simple as looking beyond human behavior and seeing the enemy’s evil scheme. I was reminded of Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (NIV)

Just having my eyes opened to the truth immediately set me free from the load of depression and anxiety. I got up from my face, rebuked the enemy and started praising God. Our amazing, loving God, the God of all Eternity who holds the universe in His hands, and is on our side! I was so relieved to realize, once again, that I don’t have to fear, He is in control.

Peace came flooding in and my fingers started typing, and you are reading the result of that peace right now:)

So I’m off to finish that book, no matter what. Please pray for me as I am praying for you that you will not be fooled by the enemy’s schemes but that you will take up your armor and rise up, Mighty Warrior Princess!

Fend off the 4pm Munchies

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I battled the 4pm munchies for as long as I can remember. I’ve tried many things to fend it off, but in the end the best advise I got was to just go with it. Not go with it as in give in to visions of chocolate and french fries, but rather go with my body’s natural inclination to want food that time of day.

When it comes to eating at certain times, I found that eating six small meals a day and listening to my body’s natural clues works by far the best for me. It helps even out my energy levels, make me perform at my best and prevent overeating. I’ve tried skimming on snacks to loose extra pounds for years, but somehow it always turned on me: Never mind how big a plate of food I had at lunch time, by 4pm I would be wrestling with my cravings.

Now, I know I’m not alone in this. I’ve heard this same complaint from my working friends. A dear friend informs me that she hits the vending machine, every day, promptly at 4pm. What baffles her is that her days always go so great at first: Cereal for breakfast, sub sandwich or salad for lunch, and then boom! round about 4pm she throws all caution in the wind, head for the vending machine and gobble up a few candy bars.

For some of us who work from home the munchies can be ever so real. Never mind what you’re working on, being it the never ending laundry, lovin’ on those little ones, or typing away at your laptop, you are not immune.

The smart people tell me that it is important for our health and mental well being to keep our energy level steady. This can truly only be achieved by eating small amounts of healthy food, frequently. So diets, starvation, binging and overeating all sends us on a roller coaster ride that will put Six Flags to shame. Energy levels go up and come crashing down, emotions fly all over the place and our health is in serious danger.

So maybe you want to join me and “go with it” for a while. Follow your body’s signals, be ready for those 4pm munchies with snack that you love but that can also help to even out your energy level.

My favorite 4pm snack for the last few months has been my own version of Tiramisu. I pour a little bit of fresh decaf coffee in a fancy bowl, add some granola (the good kind made with oats and honey) add a few pecan nuts, a dollop of low fat vanilla yogurt, and on a special day, a squirt of light whipped cream. I sit down, put my feet up and give in to the 4pm munchies, and what do you know, afterward I can actually fold some laundry, type a blog, help with some high school math (not really) or jump trampoline with my two little “bundles of energy” before dinner!

Here’s a few Tips for you

THINGS TO DO WHEN THE MUNCHIES HIT:

1. Try drinking water, you might just be dehydrated

2. Get moving! Exercise is another great source of energy, and you might just be bored or in need of some fresh air. Going to the gym at 4pm actually helped me overcome huge carb cravings for a season

3. Make sure that you add enough lean protein and whole grain to your lunch meal, otherwise you will be starving just a couple of hours afterward

4. Check yourself to see if something upset you or made you anxious. Try lying on your bed or sitting in your favorite chair with music on. Talk to God or just wait in His presence. Your craving might have nothing to do with hunger after all

5. If this keeps happening every day, wise up, your body might need nutrition that time of day. Rather plan ahead to have a light mid-afternoon meal daily, this will put you at ease and prevent overeating at lunch time

6. You might simply be exhausted and a power nap (15-20 minutes of sleep) will perk you right up!

7. Make sure you really need to eat something, wait a few minutes, do something else that consume your thoughts, such as reading, talking to a friend or taking a long bath. The urge to nibble might just vanish!

THINGS NOT TO DO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! NEVER EVER!:

1. Go grocery shopping when you have the munchies

2. Watch mid-afternoon TV. All the food commercials WILL bring on more cravings!

3. Eat a snack high in sugar, salt and fat. This will not satisfy you but rather increase your cravings and keep you grazing until bedtime (believe me, I know)

4. Move in the direction of the vending machine when the clock strikes 4!

GREAT SNACKS TO FEND OFF THOSE 4PM MUNCHIES:

Fresh or dried fruit
Low fat granola bar
Slice of whole grain bread with peanut butter and sliced banana! Yum!
Cereal with low fat milk
Vegetable/Bean soup
Pretzels and low fat string cheese
Low fat popcorn and a handful of nuts
Pitta bread with hummus

IF ALL ELSE FAILS TURN TO: Heleen’s Special “Tiramisu”

Alien Alone…

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I’m sorry, but I can not, for the life of me, seem to put a “chipper” post together this week. I thought it best to not blog at all, but then I thought about all you amazing ladies who read my blog and that some of you probably have broken hearts right this minute that far outrank my own.

Honestly, I’m just too sad to pick myself up by the bootstraps (I’m wearing flip-flops anyway) My heart is still strapped to the picture of my Mom’s sad face, looking back at me one last time before she disappeared through the gate to board her plane back to South Africa. It was an emotional good-bye with lots of shattered hopes and unfinished business. I felt so helpless. I couldn’t fix anything! This girl, the self proclaimed “maker of plans”, couldn’t do a thing!

After ten years in America, I’m still not used to the goodbyes. The sight of an airplane and the smell of the airport still makes my stomach turn. Too many tears have been shed in that spot, always with the knowing that years will pass, our toddlers will be teenagers, and we will all be much older next time we meet. To be an alien in a different country usually means to be cut off from your loved ones. When you leave there are always promises and expectations of many visits, but you soon realize that it was just a dream. The reality: They are on the other side of the world, it’s expensive, it’s difficult to get a travel visa, and travel is not always easy or even possible.

After we dropped my Mom off I felt so alone… I wandered through the house aimlessly, and then I started crying, for one week straight! I cried every time I made tea in the polka dot tea mugs she bought me, I cried when I put a sundress on my little girl (a gift from grandma), and I cried once more when my nine year old said “Ouma gave me this camera Mom, I will treasure it forever”

Please understand, I’m so grateful my mom is still alive! I am so thankful that we can still skype and email, but it’s the hugs I will miss the most, and the smell of her perfume that still lingers in our home, and especially the picture of her holding my kids…

Goodbye would have been sad enough, but we all had a dream of having a family member in our lives after ten years of being “aliens alone”. When we said goodbye to my Mom that dream was shattered. For a short while we felt again the joy of having a grandma that would come to birthday parties, a grandma who would makes surprise visits, and a grandma who sees and believes only the best about her grand kids. Now that dream was gone, and my heart was bleeding for us, but more so for her…

Now of course I wrestled with God about this. Didn’t I beg him for a miracle for more than ten years? Couldn’t he have made me stronger? Couldn’t I have done more? Couldn’t He have turned defeat into a victory? I wasn’t really angry, just so broken…

Moving to a different country is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. Even if the people are as friendly as you guys, and the country is safe and wonderful, it’s just not yours and it’s just not familiar. Everything you ever accomplished in your life doesn’t matter, because it was done in a different language, in a different way, and it had different value. You feel as if you have just been born, and for many years you’re not sure what to do and where you belong…

So two days ago my eye caught a passage God used to bring healing to my heart when I was a brand new “alien” in this country. It’s in Isaiah 6 and it talks about how Isaiah saw the Lord, in all His majesty and glory, in the year that king Uzziah died. Beth Moore calls it “the passing of the King” or in my case “the passing of a dream” and how it can be a time to see God’s glory and get to know Him in a whole new way.

I cried so hard I’m sure the neighbors heard me! Here I was, at those crossroads again, and I had to choose. In the words of Beth “Will this hurt to hurt, or hurt to heal?” I want it to not just hurt this bad for nothing, but as the dream died in my heart, I begged God to bring life out of it. I am still asking Him to show Himself to me and my mom again, and draw us a little bit closer to His heart.

And then yesterday, there was an email from a brand new friend I’ve made in Houston Texas. She encouraged me to listen to Hillsong’s Desert Song on Youtube. Thanks so much Denni! While listening to that song, I felt it… the tug of His hand, pulling me closer to His tender heart of love once again…

Are you hurting today? Is your heart broken? Are you grieving the loss of something or someone? I’m so sorry… I wish I had something eloquent to say to you. But if I could, I would hug you and tell you:  “Hide, sweet sister, hide under the everlasting wing! He will turn your mourning into dancing again…”

Lots of love, Heleen

A picture of me and my Mom, many moons ago!

PS: I’m sure you would like to know how all of this affected me in the food area: I am glad to report that there were no midnight runs to KFC, Dairy queen or Krispy Creams. I am so grateful to God that He kept me on my knees with only a stack of kleenex between us. My lowest moment (food wise) was when I stole a handful of Cheetos from a stranger! Okay, it was my husband, but I couldn’t recognize him through the tears.

Seriously, if you struggle with food, you know that this was not a little thing for me, but rather a huge victory over the enemy!

Living with the “Brain Fog” of Food Addiction

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People who struggle with Food Addiction use food in similar ways as others do drugs, cigarettes or alcohol. It is used to numb unwanted emotions and it actually does! If you have an overload of sugar, fat, and salt in your system, you actually experience a “high”. It’s a state of mind where you just live for the moment, food is all that matters and for a few moments at least, it can make you forget about your sorrows.

Of course, you always regret it afterward. However, it’s not necessarily a deep regret that brings you to repentance, but rather something similar to the alcoholic who cries when he is in a drunken state. It’s usual feelings of self-pity and self-loathing, but unfortunately mostly not the deep sorrow that makes you want to turn away from the addictive foods for good.

If you struggle with food addiction, you might recognize this pattern where you overeat at night, feel sick to your stomach, cry tears of despair, and promise yourself to never do this again, just to repeat the same cycle again the next day. It breaks my heart to see friends and family go through this cycle many times before they hit “rock-bottom”. I know the horrible feeling of utter failure.

There is another side to addiction that causes people to stay in the same rut, year after year:

The “Brain Fog”. Food Addiction, like other addictions, covers your brain with a numbness, causing you to make wrong decisions, lack sound judgment, and not hear the voice of God. In my life, the feeling of numbness toward God and my loved ones became one of the big warning signs that I am slipping back into food addiction. Huge amounts of sugar, fat and salt can literally sap all your energy, make you depressed and pull a thick cloud of fog over your brain and your emotions. It is a horrible, empty life to lead: You pretend that all is well on the outside, but your heart has been stripped of all life.

Many books have been written about food addiction, but people still tend to make light of it. So even if you are skeptical about whether people can truly be addicted to food, I want to urge you to take a hard look at your own life. The enemy uses food to keep people in a lifetime of bondage. However, it is important to know that not everyone with an eating disorder suffers from food addiction, but those with food addiction usually have some form of distorted eating such as bulimia, binge eating disorder or compulsive overeating.

Also, hereditary factors tend to play a major role in food addiction. If there is a pattern of addiction in your family or you have been addicted to other substances at different times in your life, you have a bigger chance to also get addicted to food.

How then can this be treated?
From my own experience and the testimonies of other ladies, I believe that some people sunk so deep into food addiction that their spirit (deep inner being that connects with God) can not respond to God before they don’t first clear the “brain fog”. Now before you get upset with me, I do believe and have seen God heal people from addiction in a moment. However, to forge a deeper, lasting relationship with God these people too had to become “clean” from high amounts of sugar, fat and salt and stay that way. It is sometimes necessary to first become abstinent from certain food before our past wounds can be healed, simply because the food that we are addicted to keeps us in a state of numbness.

That said, you should never just stop eating. You are setting yourself up to sink deeper into food addiction if you starve your body. You need your body to “help” you with the physical healing from this addiction. So you first have to get it strong. In my Program, I help women go through the necessary steps to first get their bodies to work for them, not against them. I always recommend going through a period of “restoring” your body first. I’m simply talking about getting enough sleep, drinking lots of water, exercising, and eating enough protein, whole grains, as well as fresh fruit and vegetables for a few weeks before abstaining from anything. However, there is good news, it only takes 21 days to rid your body of certain cravings, and after the first 7 days, it actually gets a little easier. I am always so amazed at how the cravings TOTALLY disappear after 21 days!

But far bigger than the lack of cravings for everything deep fried and smothered in chocolate is the joy of being able to FEEL again. Your senses come alive, and you can cry and laugh and feel the gentle touch of God as He heals your broken heart.

My 12 Week Online Program for Women struggling with Food might be an option for you if you need help to break free from Food Addiction. Please go have a look, your life matters to God. He is waiting to heal you and help you clear up the “brain fog” so you can enjoy life again.

Your sister in Christ
Heleen

Resources:

NEW: INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING online or in Beaverton Oregon
Call Heleen at (503) 914-2749 or Schedule online: www.LifeSolutions.io

Click on the image below to learn more about the 12 Week Online Program: Women Struggling with Food

Read my story. Click on the image below to download my ebook: God will I ever be free?

Appetite for Freedom WORKBOOK and DVD.
A great resource for small groups or individual use.
Click on the image below to find out more:

No masks allowed! Gotta “GET REAL”

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To finish your journey of breaking free from food addiction, you will need a few key elements. One that made all the difference to me is bringing TRUTH back into my life. You can not afford to wear a mask anymore. You need to GET REAL in the full sense of the word in order to complete this journey.

I was in a very legalistic church for about four years. Not the “in your face” kind of legalism, but rather the kind that almost intoxicate you, drawing you into the relentless pursuit of “sticking to the rules” without you even realizing it. I always felt awkward and out of place. Unlike me, the other moms were so skinny and well put together. The few odd ones that didn’t quite qualify as one of the “beautiful people” somehow didn’t make it into leadership.

At one point the church went through a major split and many yucky things were revealed. I realized for the first time that this nagging feeling of inferiority that I had (because of a few extra pounds on me) didn’t exactly aid me in my pursuit to freedom or holiness. I never told a soul about my struggle with food, because no one ever spoke about their struggles, and no one ever admitted to being “only human”. Everybody was so spiritual, so driven to win the lost, so focused on not wasting time with frivolous things such as building friendships or finding personal healing.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am all for evangelism, but I also know that God never intended for us to stop being real, give up on friendship and neglect our hearts.
I never felt so alone in a congregation and I never felt so incapable of ever overcoming my food addiction. You see I had to keep it secret, because admitting to it would have been to admit to what everybody already suspected: “I was an immature Christian who should have had my act together years ago”

After the split things changed gradually and I started a small group for women who struggle with food issues. I found that there were actually a bunch of ladies who were just waiting to talk about this “thing” they were carrying around.

How great was my relief when we moved and were swept up in the loving arms of the people in our current church. They invited us to small groups where people wanted to get to know us, care about us, and most of all, they were not afraid to be real! Our church also sets high standards for holy living and growing in relationship with God, but although we have our problems like every other church, I personally never felt that cloud of condemnation.

I want to encourage you: If you suffer from an eating disorder or any other addiction, please find a place where you won’t feel afraid to be real. A place where you are encouraged by other women and where you experience the Holy Spirit’s presence to heal you and change you. Yes, we have to build our own relationship with God, but He also created us to be part of a community and to have genuine friendships. These friendships are best know by their “giving and receiving”. In these friendships you will experience acceptance of both your good and “not so good” parts. You need to be loved for who you are to break free from this disorder. Pretending to be perfect or okay when you are not will keep you in bondage. Pleasing others and not being truthful about your needs and fears will prevent you from finding the healing you so desperately need.

I know change is hard, and I’m not telling you to give up your church either. I just want to nudge you to keep looking for a church or even just a group where you can receive love and support. Start today. If your church doesn’t offer any support groups, start your own. You can use my program for your support group if you want, or look for the following groups in your area that focus on freedom from food struggles and other addictions:
Celebrate Recovery (look for a group in your town)
First Place (look for a group in your town)

You can stop overeating or stop binge eating by taking my hand through the online program I offer, or by taking the hand of a friend. Believe me, it’s almost impossible to do it yourself.

Stop Binge Eating: Turn off the TV!

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Research shows that most women complain of feeling inadequate, insecure and depressed after watching Fashion Shows or TV programs. There is an undeniable link between gaining weight and watching too much TV.

Please read this scenario from my Online Program for Women Struggling with Food and see if you can relate:

“You start watching a movie where the main character, miss Wonderful, is a slender, sexy blond.

She has everything anyone could ever want: She has the man of her dreams slobbering all over her, she lives in a mansion and drives a sports car. She is popular, smart, funny and she is an impressive career woman.

She has no children, no financial problems, no dirty laundry, no acne and definitely no PMS. She makes you sick with envy: You hate your life!

Your mind starts to drift to food: What can you eat to numb this pain of dissatisfaction and inadequacy?

Then, as if someone in the marketing industry could hear your thoughts; a commercial break.

The screen starts dripping with thick, luscious chocolate. Another miss Perfect slip a perfect square of chocolate in between her red Botox lips and whisper to you that chocolate will make all your dreams come true.

You run to the kitchen and discover your secret stash – a pack of old peanut M&M’s behind the frozen veggies. You also grab some ice cream and graham crackers.

You arrive just in time to see miss Wonderful zip up her tiny mini skirt: She looks so great! You sigh, then shove a handful of M&M’s in your mouth and swallow it down with tears of failure.

Sounds familiar?”

TV watching is linked to certain eating disorders such as Binge Eating Disorder. It’s not just the lack of physical activity that causes weight gain, but the food commercials trigger cravings, and the images of perfect bodies cause feelings of dissatisfaction and inadequacy which in turn are “medicated” through binging.

If you have an eating disorder you want to be especially aware of your surroundings and in touch with your body when you eat. Sitting down at a table, talking to others or enjoying a great view is the best way to do this.

Eating on the run, or in front of the computer or TV is just downright looking for trouble. You may not even be aware that you are trying to numb feelings of stress, pain, inadequacy and dissatisfaction, because you loose touch with reality and your own body when you’re eating and watching TV or surfing the web.

What you really need when these feelings wash over you is to find someone to talk to (God, a friend or a counselor). I know it’s difficult, but let your feelings be a red light, warning you to not turn on the computer or TV when you’re not feeling okay. You already know what will happen if you give in and take the easy way out: Your mind will start wondering to food (all the commercials will be right there cheering you on) and you will find yourself in the kitchen anxiously tearing open bags and loading up on food in no time.

It took me a while to give up this idol. TV and food were definitely connected in my personal struggle with food: As long as I mindlessly watched TV to escape reality, I could not shake off my eating disorder. I was not even a “big” TV watcher, but when life got tough I would run to a “mind-numbing” activity such as watching TV while binging. I was really hiding from the world and my own scary feelings.

If you need more reasons (and research) to give up TV, please read the rest of this article: Food Addict: Beware of the TV!

However, if you already know that this is a problem for you, and you have tried countless times to walk away from the TV and stop binging without any success, then it might be time to get some help. Please have a look at my program for Women Struggling with Food and find out How to Stop Binge Eating and break this vicious cycle forever.

Here are Resources for you:

NEW: INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING online or in Beaverton Oregon
Call Heleen at (503) 914-2749 or Schedule online: www.LifeSolutions.io

Click on the image below to learn more about the 12 Week Online Program: Women Struggling with Food

Read my story. Click on the image below to download my ebook: God will I ever be free?

Appetite for Freedom WORKBOOK and DVD.
A great resource for small groups or individual use.
Click on the image below to find out more:

Looking for Trouble?

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Everybody knows that one should not go “looking for trouble”. However, if you’re struggling with food addiction, or any addiction for that matter, it might not be such a bad idea. You need to become a regular detective and have your ear on the ground for the slightest rumbling of trouble in your heart.

This past Easter weekend I detected some trouble and fortunately found it before it found me. None the less, it still scared me, and it was a sure reminder that I desperately need God. In fact, I will probably always need Him in this area of my life, something I’m starting to see as a blessing in disguise.

To get to the trouble, I feel that I should first give you an update on the previous few months of 2009: It’s actually been a very good year as far as my struggle with food is concerned. I have remained steady. I have been consistently doing things that really matter, ignoring the things that don’t matter so much, and I’ve been letting go of the notion of perfection (for the most part). It’s been a year of freedom, some weight loss and plenty of spiritual breakthroughs. Of course you know better than to believe that I didn’t have my share of down days, trials and battles, you ladies have after all been reading my blogs!

However, I didn’t experience any slip-ups or downward spirals. I was truly singing the song of the redeemed. Now, don’t worry, I’m still singing, but this weekend I got a wake-up call, something we probably need every now and then.

It started with financial pressure. I know that many of you can relate. My husband didn’t loose his job, but there were some pay cuts and our online businesses are suffering. In comparison to many friends and family members, we have it easy though, and I am seriously counting every blessing. However, like many others, we too had to face reality and change our lifestyle, and it’s taking it’s toll. So this weekend started with our family having communion together, surrounded by God’s amazing love on Good Friday, and it ended with stress and heated discussions by Easter Sunday.

Of course I knew what to do: It was Easter Sunday, what better day to grab onto the life of Jesus that He so graciously extended to us? Church was great, but inside of me there was trouble brewing. When we came home from church, I wanted to watch a movie, I didn’t want to talk, I didn’t want to go anywhere, I didn’t want to cry (although I sure needed it), I didn’t want to talk to God and I wanted a second and a third helping of desert… mmm…. trouble…

My own personal journey to freedom taught me a few things: If I smell trouble, there’s trouble. If I keep it in, it will grow. If I keep quiet about it long enough, it will blow up in my face. Most importantly, if trouble comes knocking, I don’t really know what I need at all, and what I want is definitely not what I need.

So I had a very long phone conversation with a friend (crying and the works). I dragged my husband out in the rain to go for a walk-and-talk (mainly me talking). Afterward I took a bath and talked some more to God. I talked and talked, the thing I didn’t want to do, until my head cleared and I stopped making a list in my mind of things I wanted to binge on!

It’s not easy to struggle with food, but as the years pass and you keep giving it back to God things change. You start to smell trouble a mile away, but most importantly, you know what to do, you have tools, you have support, you have the Holy Spirit and you get through it quickly so life can go on.

However, to get to that place, you need to start the journey to freedom and healing. It takes time, but no more time that you might have wasted going around and around with this addiction. An addiction, such as food addiction, steals your life, it robs you from relationships and it reduces you to only a fraction of who you really are.

Please hear this today: You are so much more than this eating disorder. My 12 Week Online Course for women struggling with food can get you started on your own personal journey to freedom. Come have a look and see if this course is a good fit for you, if you are ready to stop bulimia or stop overeating for good.

From an Ex Food Addict who understands all too well.

Help! The Devil is holding onto my weight!

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You know the feeling: You sweat, you hunger, you resist, you sweat some more and then you step on the scale… and time seems to stop… blood drain from your face… you heart falls into your big toe… you’ve lost nothing! It’s not a pretty thing, in fact it can make the most dedicated woman of God yell at the Devil and reach for the triple chocolate ice cream (wrapped in a towel in the back of the freezer).

Trying to lose weight if you’re not a spring chicken is difficult enough without the dreaded “Weight Loss Plateau”. As a more “mature” woman you already have the odds stacked against you: Slower metabolism, juggling career and family life, truckloads of stress and haywire hormones! One more bump in the road can push you over the edge, and a weight loss plateau can supply exactly that bump.

So in all seriousness, it’s not funny! It can be discouraging at best and turn into full blown depression if it lingers. We all want to avoid that famous weight loss plateau, but the reality is that you will probably bump into it at one time or another, that is if you’re not a thriving nineteen year old (no offense to my younger readers)

A weight loss plateau is not picky either, it will pounce on the low-carb believers, the calorie counters, the all inclusive eaters, and even the hunger and fullness detectives. Hitting a weight loss plateau is a matter of “when” not so much “if”.

I did some research for us on this dreaded weight loss plateau. I’m sure it’s obvious by now that I hit a few myself. According to nutritionist and doctors alike, this is quite a natural and very normal process of “healthy” weight loss. We tend to be very diligent with our diets at first and in the beginning we also tend to lose a lot of water, making the initial weight loss seem huge. However, the great results might slow down as you continue on your plan. Even people who are on very effective programs or have gone through something as radical as weight loss surgery hits plateaus in their weight loss.

So by now you know that I do not recommend any kind of super restrictive diet, but if you’re following a healthy eating plan or meal replacement program (not any kind of fad diet) and your weight loss slows down, then it’s technically not a plateau but only a healthy way of losing. I know what you want to say “But it’s soooo discouraging!” I’m so sorry, but yes, you’re patience will be stretched, believe me I know, God has had my patience in a taffy puller many times before.

That said, if you’re honestly eating healthy, getting some exercise and still find yourself stuck at the same weight for months on end, you will be pleased to know that something can be done.  I put together a checklist of possible reasons for your weight loss plateau. Please go have a look at this article if you are in this difficult spot right now. This list sure shook me out of my denial: I thought I ate good, one glass of water will do it, and walking the treadmill every day at a mild pace will keep my weight loss going. Sometimes it’s not even so much denial as just a plain case of “not knowing”.

Some plateaus have medical reasons behind them, but for most of us plateaus will come and go but only the consistent girls among us will make it. Don’t take my word for it, I’m just the messenger. Have a look at Galatians 6:9 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

Please don’t give up dear girl friend, hang in there, I’m hanging with you!
Heleen

Click here for the complete article on my website, with a plateau check list for you: Weight-loss Plateau

 

 

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