Heleen

Need more Self-Control?

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This past weekend I was reminded that self-control and controlling other people can not co-exist in my life. I was getting anxious about situations in our family and fell back into my old pattern of controlling people and circumstances.

Of course I’m pretty good at “whipping” everything and everybody into shape, but things started unraveling fast inside of me. I was restless. I wanted to eat all sorts of things and I was avoiding God.

Fortunately I’ve learned, through much tears and many heartaches, to recognize these patterns in myself.

So I was back at the drawing board with God:

The Bible clearly says that self-control is part of the Fruit of the Spirit and “should” thus be part of every spirit filled Christian’s life. According to John 15 we will bear much fruit (including self-control) if we are plugged into the vine (Jesus). So having self-control means staying close to God, OBEYING GOD, and daily asking the Holy Spirit to fill us and give us control of ourselves.

However, no where in the Bible will you find any kind of command or even an indication that we are suppose to control other people and circumstances.

Now if you are immediately thinking  “I’m not a control-freak” you might want to first read the following to make sure:

Controlling can be blatant or subtle. Trying to please people and keep everybody happy doesn’t seem like control, but by always pleasing others we actually try to control the way they see us, or even what they think of us.

Controlling others has a nasty side affect: It robs us of our self-control. If we learn to give the people and things that we can not really control over to God, we have enough peace to build and work on our relationship with God and as a result we see the fruit of the Spirit show up in our lives..

You girls know me by now: I want to know how it works in real life!
I’m seeing how every time I choose to give control over to God, I have more peace, more time (by not obsessing about others) and more self control.

Try it…next time you feel like controlling or pleasing someone else, ask God what you’re suppose to do. Something like this “Am I suppose to control/please this person Lord? Which part of this is my job and which is Your job?”

Okay, so I know it’s not that easy: What do you do with the anxiety, the pain and the stress surrounding the relationships you are currently trying to control?
 Women have so much more stress that’s related to relationships than men. We want to fix everyone’s problems and keep everybody happy. But at what price? We loose control of our own lives!

capture16One of the things I found that works wonders for this kind of stress: Girl friend time!
Get into a group or ask God to help you find friends with whom you can be real. I found that it’s easier to join a woman’s Bible study or a support group. The kind of”realness” that we all desperately need usually starts in these kind of groups, and lots of times it flows over into lifetime friendships.

God gave us each other, and nobody understands the needs, stress and worries of a woman like another woman. Please find a place where you can talk about the stress in your relationships.

Most women I know constantly put their own needs and wants on the back burner. So I guess it’s almost “normal”, but it doesn’t mean that we can keep doing it without damage to our lives. Our anxiety sometimes reach such high levels that we start looking around for a crutch such as food, alcohol, pornography or drugs.

Do you feel that you have little or no self-control left?
Please have a look at your relationships and circumstances. You might have the best of intentions in controlling people and circumstances, but it still robs you from the ability to control your own self.

Find a quiet place today where you can think and talk to God about control. If you give the control back to God you will feel peace come back to your life. In the light of that peace, you will be able to talk to Him more openly, and He will tell you why He created you in the first place

Don’t think for one minute that this is selfish. The most wonderful gift you can give your family and friends is to start taking care of your own wants and needs (spiritual, emotional and physical). If you do that, you will regain your self-control and will be able to sow love into their lives without controlling them.

I don’t say this lightly. I have to remind myself daily that by controlling others I am robbing myself of self-control. I need all nine parts of the fruit of the Spirit desperately in my life, so I keep giving the control that belongs to God back to Him…

From a ex control-freak

Heleen

Who said Exercise would be Easy?

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couple joggingNowhere else do I get so much resistance! I’m serious! When it comes to exercise, I have to fight the enemy off with a stick. Of course it confirms that it’s REALLY IMPORTANT, but knowing this doesn’t exactly help with the fact that it’s really difficult !

Yesterday, on labor day, I had one of those famous fights with my own flesh, my family, the enemy, and of course; negative thoughts.

I slept in a little because it was a holiday, I wanted to eat pancakes, because it was a holiday and I didn’t want to exercise, you know it…because it was a holiday.

On top of that, my husband didn’t want to watch the little kids so I could go to the gym, because it was a holiday, and nobody wanted to give me a hand with the laundry, because it was a holiday… GOOD TIMES!

Now on holidays or special occasions these things merely come under the spotlight, but truth be told; it’s a daily battle. Every morning, from the moment I commit to exercise, the enemy will try every trick in the book, and use all the people I know to block me. Seriously; my family, my friends, and even acquaintances! If this doesn’t work he will throw in finances, crisis, sickness, weather, celebrations, discouragement, the list goes on…

The worst part: I don’t even need all of the above excuses to take off my sneakers and quit. No, most mornings I already have a fight going on in my head, and just a little push can make me quit on the spot.

Maybe you don’t have such a big battle when it comes to exercise, but I tell you, as soon as I open my eyes in the morning, I know that I DO NOT WANT TO EXERCISE! Even in my car on the way to the gym I have to grip the steering wheel very tightly, and focus on not turning left to Safeway instead. Even once I’m on that treadmill or bicycle I’m still telling myself that I don’t need to do more than 10 minutes today because I can go for a walk with the kids later (knowing very well that it’s going to rain). I’m not kidding, even after 35 minutes of sweating on the elliptic machine, I will still try and talk myself out of the last five minutes!

Now don’t give up on me just yet:  I know that it’s a mind thing, because I NEVER regret the exercise afterward, but I ALWAYS regret it if I don’t go!!

Also, even though I have gone through the whole spectrum of figuring out which exercise I enjoy the most, what time of day is the best for me, and how I can work my exercise time around most of my family’s emergencies and needs, I still have the negative thoughts.

This is proof to me that there’s a very real battle going on every time I try to be consistent in this area. The reason: Consistent exercise and time with God  plays a HUGE ROLE in overcoming food struggles and staying free!

So PLEASE don’t give up when spending time with God becomes challenging or exercise seems excruciating. It’s only so very difficult, because it’s so very important. The good news: In James 4:7 the Bible says that if we surrender to God and resist the enemy He WILL FLEE FROM US. He will of course not give up the first time you surrender, but if you keep surrendering and keep resisting, I will promise you that he will back off. It will get easier to just sit down with your Bible, or lace up those running shoes.

Of course there will be other temptations and attacks on your freedom, but every time you flex that “resistance-muscle” you will grow stronger and it will grow easier (both physical and spiritual actually:)

Come on girl, fight the battle with me, it is so worth it. Next time you don’t feel like getting up to go to the gym, or resist getting on that treadmill in the basement, or want to give up when the kids interrupt your exercise video, or think it’s too cold to go for a run, or want to call your friend to cancel your afternoon game of tennis, remember that you are most definitely NOT ALONE. In that very moment when you are having that fight with your flesh, the enemy, and people, know for sure that other ladies are fighting off the same stuff, and you too CAN BE VICTORIOUS.

I will be thinking of you next time I fight for my freedom. Please remember to shoot up a little prayer for me as well:)

Love you ladies!
Heleen

How do you get rid of CARB CRAVINGS?

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25If  I have to sum up my food weakness in one word it will have to be: CARBS! Add some butter and sugar to white flour and I’m in carb-heaven and inevitably in big trouble. Like many other people who struggle with food; carb addiction is a very big reality for me!

I crave carbs, and then I eat carbs and then I crave carbs some more… you get the picture.

Now I’m sure you are all well aware of the big debate that has been going on for years around low carb diets. So let me come clean: I am in no way an advocate for low carb diets, and I am well aware that not everybody benefits from it. However, I am not in denial about the negative effects of too much carbs on my life either. Weight gain for me is directly linked to the consumption of too much carbs. On the flip side, weight loss in my life can be tracked down to every time I removed the carbs from the throne it held in my heart and traded it in for some lean steaks and vegetables (and time with God of course)

In all seriousness, I’ve tried to hang on to my carbs for as long as I could, but without much success. It was undoubtedly the pastries, the fresh white breads, the cakes and the crackers that called to me time and time again, until I started slipping and sliding all the way down into another pit of food addiction.

So let’s have some straight talk: Can we really go without it? And if so, how long will it last before we give in to the “calling of the carbs” again?

The answer: Yes and No.

Yes, we have to try our best to stay away from it, as often as possible, for the simple reason that it is addictive and the more we eat it the more we want it and the worse we feel. There is nothing that packs on the pounds around the middle riff like some good old white flour mixed with fat and sugar. And those dreaded rolls around the middle makes our chances for a heart attack so much bigger! Please note that I’m including myself in this group 100%. The “muffin-top battle”, you know the one where your upper body spills over your jeans like the dough of a muffin to create a “muffin-top”,  has been mine for many years!

No, keeping it up FOREVER is almost impossible. I say almost because I can not speak for the whole world, but only for myself and the ladies I know who have tried to go “cold turkey” about a million times (slight exaggeration, sorry)

So what is a poor girl to do in a society where the doughnut rules breakfast and hamburger and fries are basic lunch staples?

Here’s a thought: The 90% rule

Remember how we talked about making a commitment to go to the gym 5 to 6 days a week never mind how pathetic the effort. We also spoke about just showing up every day, waiting in God’s presence with your Bible study open on your lap, even if you ” feel” nothing at times.

Now, for this week (and the next 365 days) let me encourage you to eat those carbs, but only for one meal a day. Come on, try it. It has helped me so much! If you feel like you simply have to have some chocolate chip ice cream, save it for your most vulnerable time of the day. If you often find yourself eating carbs in the evening like a carb crazy woman, then decide to have it then. The rest of the day, make it low or no carb meals with tons of veggies.
Then, come dinner time, think carbs, just make sure you mix it up with healthy and filling food as well. So have your ice cream, but add some unsalted nuts, healthy granola (made with honey and oats), and blueberries in with it. Or eat your bread, but make it fresh baked whole wheat bread with lean meat and veggies on. Stack 365 of these days on top of each other and you will have much more energy, no more cravings, no more binging, and a smaller waist line.

A word of warning from one food addict to another: Still avoid the carbs that makes you spiral out of control. For instance, if I’m just dying for some potatoes, I will choose a baked potato as part of my “carb meal”  instead of chips or mashed potatoes that can easily set me up for a “carb binge”

Research has shown that eating carbs only ONCE a day (no snacking inbetween on carbs, only snack on meat and veggies) can cut down those cravings.  I’m telling you it works! Now, of course there’s a way to have NO MORE cravings. If you go on a strickt low carb diet, you can seriously have NO MORE SUGAR OR WHITE FLOUR CRAVINGS after 21 days! I’ve tried it a few times, and it works. The problem: It’s too extreme thus not natural and not healthy. Also, the chance of you just giving up and binging on carbs are HUGE! So why take the risk, and spiral down again? It is so discouraging and can set you back again for years!

Eating carbs sensibly (not 12 dougnuts of course!) once a day over a period of time will produce weight loss, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, you can keep doing it through birthdays and Christmas and all the other special days. I’m still quite new to this, but the past few months have been so much easier than the “I will not eat carbs, I will not eat carbs…” that I’ve been doing before. So try it out with me and see if you’re also getting good results:) You might feel tired the first few days as your body withdraws from all the carbs, you might even feel slightly down and have a headache, but IT WILL PASS. Doing the first day is the hardest, but after you’re through the first week things will get much easier. You will feel joy returning to your life as you stop grazing on carbs all day long, and that full, bloated feeling around your upper body will be something of the past.
However, if you just can’t get a grip on your food addiction, you might want to have a look at my 12 Week Online Program or Week 3 on Food Addiction. Sometimes we just can’t put the “crutch” or “idol” down because of underlying pain and issues we didn’t deal with.

Now before you think that I’m super smart, let me tell you that I have some food addict experts to thank for my new enlightenment:) If this seems like something you are interested in giving a shot, go have a look at one of the books I recommend at the bottom of this post. If low carb doesn’t work for you, or you get scared just thinking about it, I recommend Jillian Michaels’ (biggest loser coach) book about different ways of eating that applies to different people, in other words, low carb does not fit all.
For me, low and healthy carbs actually equals a healthy lifestyle.

VERY IMPORTANT: Let me remind you to not get obsessed over ANY of this. God brings some good ideas along our paths, but in the end we have to keep building that relationship with Him and ask Him to help us accomplish it.

You know by now, my dear friend, you can have all the knowledge and great ideas in the world at your disposal, but if God doesn’t help you  implement it permanently into your life, it’s the same old story over and over again.

So bend those knees early every morning, admit that you can’t do it, and ask God for some great interventions and great revelations for that specific day.

Wish I could look you in the eye and tell you…don’t give up…please…quitting is the only wrong move that you can make.

Lots of love

Heleen

Books to read:
The Carbohydrate Addict’s healthy heart program by Dr. Richard F. Heller, Dr. Rachel. F. Heller, Dr. Fredric J. Vagnini
Winning by Losing by Jillian Michaels

EMERGENCY: I have to lose weight fast

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How do you feel when you get an invitation to a friend’s wedding, or to go on vacation with family, or to come out East (or West) for Thanksgiving? Do your stomach turn and your blood pressure rise at the very thought of it? Special occasions can be absolute torture for someone with a food struggle. The worst part;  it happens all the time!

I receive emails of sheer desperation from ladies about this topic more than anything else: “How can I lose weight fast without jeopardizing everything “

The truth: This kind of anxiety is very dangerous. It will most likely make you look for a quick fix and a quick fix is just an accident waiting to happen.

The good news: You can use this “occasion” to start your journey, right now, seriously, by grabbing on to God and asking for help (counseling or prayer) to lay down the food (junk food and addictive foods) that always drag you down.

The bad news: You have to be honest with yourself because it will be ONLY THAT, the start of a journey! Serious weight loss, without any regard for the consequences to your health and body, cannot be your main focus. There are safe meal replacement programs on the market that I have used and that helped me lose weight pretty fast. However, if you only do this for a short time, without a coach or a support group, you are very likely to put the weight that you’ve lost right back on (and some).

I’ m sorry that I have to be so blunt, but I can’t lie to women who have already suffered so much. If you didn’t deal with some of the pain from your past or present relationships, you will most likely reach for the quick fix again. This dangerous method might cause you to lose a few pounds (possibly) but it will not be worth the denial, pain, and turmoil you’ll feel inside. It is this emotional turmoil, caused by fad diets or dangerous methods (purging, diet pills, etc), that makes people pick up lies, denial, unbelief, and pride again. So, in the end, all it does is postpone your healing for a few more years!

So if you are still surfing the web, flipping through magazines and TV channels to find a quick solution to this long term problem, then you probably still carry a lot of “unfinished business”.

I know, because I have so been there. We once went back to South Africa for a vacation and because of some issues I still refused to deal with,  I was right back there, on the internet, looking to lose 60 pounds in one month! This was after I have been totally set free from bulimia! I am happy to report that it was 7 years ago, and it didn’t last long, but ONLY because I came back and dealt with my issues and for the first time 100% meant it when I told God “I now truly believe that ONLY YOU can heal me and that NOTHING and NOBODY else can. I am ready to lay down ALL the lies and start trusting you, one day at a time”

Let me try and help you if you find yourself in this very difficult place of needing to lose weight FAST for some occasion:

FIRST: LET’S LOOK AT THE FACTS

  • You will probably not be able to lose much weight before the special occasion, even if you try your best. All the stress doesn’t help. However, if you’re still a few months away from the occasion you do have time to shed a decent amount of weight on either a meal replacement program WITH A COACH in place or a safe program such as Weight Watchers IF YOU ALSO ATTEND A GROUP for support and accountability. Support will help you move forward after the occasion and make it a long term solution instead of a fad diet.
  • Also, when you get closer to the date,  find something you can wear that is slimming and “good enough’ (lower your expectations of perfection). This will take away some of the stress.
  • If you eat the right portions that are high in nutritional value and you exercise, you will get your metabolism to work for you (against the stress hormones) much more than any fad diet, diet pill, or extreme measure would.
  • A great plus point in starting to follow a program high in nutrition: You will have good hair and skin on top of losing a few pounds, and best of all, PEACE when you need to face the music (or the people)
  • However, if you follow a drastic measure you will have exactly the opposite outcome: No significant weight loss and breakouts that usually goes along with irregular eating and stress. Also, depriving yourself like that can lead to binging, which can cause you to gain weight!

 

There are no short cuts, it takes a journey. However, this occasion can be the beginning of a journey to freedom for you…

Here’s a  prescription for you before the special event:

SIMPLICITY: If you feel like you have too many things to pull off every day it will just add to your anxiety. So make a commitment to yourself and God to just do 3 THINGS:

1. TIME IN THE WORD EVERY DAY, NO MATTER WHAT! Change that time every morning when you usually make plans for the day, and promise yourself that you will not eat sugar and carbs into a time when you are just honest with yourself and God. Tell Him that you can not do it at all, and ask Him to take over. I recommend you get a Bible study that can keep your attention, because you will probably find it extremely hard to focus on anything right now, due to the underlying stress. See my list of Recommended Books and Bible Studies

2. EXERCISE 3-5 DAYS A WEEK, NO MATTER WHAT! Please read last week’s post about Just Showing Up This is so important because it will help you stay on track with your eating and emotional well being. Also, read my other posts on exercise and have a look at the books I recommend to get you motivated. Even very moderate exercise such as slow walking will make the world of a difference in your emotional well being and your ability to resist temptation. Commit to doing this in order for you to stay sane; come rain or sunshine, whether you’ve binged the night before or not, whether you feel good or bad, whether you are depressed and have a lot to do. If you can do it first thing every morning, it will be great (also for burning more calories and having a better day food wise), but even if you have to go to the gym 9 pm at night, just stick to your commitment.

3. As far as food: Sign up for a program that has GREAT SUPPORT AND ACCOUNTABILITY. All the programs that I’ve followed in the past (never mind how healthy and balanced) did not work for long when I was doing it all by myself. The ones that really stuck were the ones high in nutrients and variety, and where I had either the support of a GROUP or a COACH. Please have a look at Week 4 of my program if you need more information on this.

Now, after saying all of this, I have to remind you: There is no condemnation for you in Christ Jesus! God is so thrilled that you set your feet on this journey back to Him where your healing lays. If you fall, He will run to your aid, and if you can not overcome this specific situation due to all the stress and pain you still feel, He will be waiting for you… until you’re ready.

And seriously, there is no condemnation coming from this girl either. I know about the pain and how we each have our own time frame of when we’re ready to surrender. I also know that if everybody else gives up on us, GOD DOES NOT!

If you feel that you can not do anything I’ve said, then please have a look at my program or go for counseling. Talking to a counselor or a pastor who has some knowledge about food struggles can help you find the reason why you so desperately need to lose weight, while you still desperately need the food to “cope”. You might find yourself between a rock and a hard place my friend, and then you really need help.

I pray even now that this upcoming event will be the last straw for every lady who reads this post. I pray that it will be the thing that opens your eyes to the truth, makes you hit rock-bottom, and help you to surrender your food struggle to God, forever…

You are so loved dear sister… the Bible says His eyes are on you!

In His Love
Heleen

More Resources for you NEW: INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING online or in Beaverton Oregon
Call Heleen at (503) 914-2749 or Schedule online: www.LifeSolutions.io

Click on the image below to learn more about the 12 Week Online Program: Women Struggling with Food

Read my story. Click on the image below to download my ebook: God will I ever be free?

Appetite for Freedom WORKBOOK and DVD.
A great resource for small groups or individual use.
Click on the image below to find out more:


Just Show up!

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Last week things were pretty crazy at the Woest home to say the least! Not only did we launch my ebook (finally) but Tony and I also transferred the Membership Area to a better program with much more bells and whistles (all for you ladies:)

We switched everything at about 10 pm on Thursday night, and what was suppose to be a “wow!” moment turned out to be a bit of a nightmare. Nothing worked! The ladies here in the US were sound asleep and unaware of the fact that they could not access ANYTHING, but around the world some of you ladies were waking up, and I was freaking out! It felt like being back in math class: I had to go through a long equation to figure out where I’ve made a mistake that brought me to the wrong answer!

Fortunately we got it all figured out (as you’ve probably noticed) but not until 3am Friday morning!

After a week of late nights I was beyond the point of exhaustion when my little girl woke me the next morning at 6am with a “Mommy, I need breakfast!”

Now if this is not the perfect excuse to not show up for exercise, and not spend time with God I don’t know what is! My dilemma though: I’ve made a commitment to show up, no matter what!

So of course I did the right thing…NOT!!

Sorry to disappoint you, but this girl is very much flesh and blood and I caved! I stayed home, watched Dora the Explorer with Christie and ate toast and jam. I didn’t feel to bad though. It was just one day, I deserved it, I worked so hard…

One tiny problem: Saturday morning came and I felt the same way… I now had other excuses…

I was still tired plus I had a headache. This time however, the Holy Spirit wouldn’t let me off the hook: I was reminded that I promised to show up! So I “showed-up”  but with the attitude of a rebellious teenager and the face of a stubborn two year old. I was mad and felt very, very sorry for myself.

I know you’re waiting for this story to turn the corner, but not quite.

I was half walking, half hanging onto the treadmill, trying my best not to fall off. My time with God afterward didn’t go any better. I was laying on the couch, half asleep. I couldn’t focus on anything! I was thinking to myself “Well this is just a bunch of baloney, who am I kidding, I’m wasting my time!”

The rest of the weekend had the same rhythm to it: Me showing up; no fireworks, no revelations, no calories burned, nothing…

Only this morning did energy and hope return to my life and while I was lacing up my running shoes I remembered… there was a reason why I just had to show up! It was not because I didn’t deserve the rest, or because the exercise would magically revive me, or because I was about to get some great revelation. No, it was all about showing up  to keep the momentum going (never mind how pathetic the effort)

Of course this happened before. I would go to the gym, just because I promised God and myself that I would, even though I barely did anything. Other times I would lay on my face before God, or stare at my Bible, feeling nothings, hearing nothing and wondering what exactly I was waiting for. But there is a lesson and a test in all of this. The Bible says that we will only reap a harvest if we do not give up! (Gal 6:9)

I can promise you that if you keep showing up at that gym or tennis court or wherever it is that you go, come rain or sunshine, sickness or health, PMS or not, you will eventually want to do more. One day you might just decide “I can lift that weight” or you might look at the older and rounder bodies around you who are jogging their hearts out and decide “I can do that”

If you keep showing up in God’s presence the same will happen. The Bible that’s now just lying open in your lap might one day come alive before your very eyes, reaching into your heart and bring healing to those very broken places. If you keep laying on that carpet morning after morning, surrendering your life to Him, you might just see Him take the wheel of your life in the most amazing way. Even better yet, you might just see His face, and never be the same again!

Just show up, dear sister. Always expect a miracle, but please don’t give up if it doesn’t happen on your time table. We don’t see the whole picture, but if we just keep showing up, God will show us His glory and change us (2 Cor 3:18)

Don’t believe the enemy when he tells you that your efforts to get active are pathetic, or you can’t feel God anyway, or the Bible is boring. Refuse to listen to him!

Let my words ring in your ears “Just show up… just show up…just show up” (Think Dori in Finding Nemo “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…)

If you have been showing up for a while, it might be time to step up though. Listen to what God wants to do. It might be time for a new Bible study, or you might be ready to read a book on exercise that can get you moving or help you spice up your workout (See my Suggested Reading List)

Never mind where you’re at though, the moment you stop showing up, trouble is knocking at your door. The good news: You can start showing up again today!

I’m sure you have funny stories to tell about “just showing up” yourselves. Let’s hear some of them!

Oh and thanks so much for all your prayers last week, God is doing a good thing!

Lots of love,
Heleen

Count Down to Ebook Release!

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BookCover12It’s finally ready, the ebook I’ve promised you guys for so long! The best part: IT’S FREE! You can get it Friday, August 14th, on my Website. Go check out the count down!

I’ve wrote this book “God will I ever be free?” over a course of two years. Yes, of course I procrastinated, rewrote and wondered if I should write it at all, but all along God was nudging me to surrender more of my life and write it all down.

So here goes:  My story of struggle, surrender and victory. Much of the journey, I’m afraid, was done in my own strength, hence the struggle. By grace alone I got a clue along the way, and after some serious surrender, what do you know, victory!

After all is said and done, after programs and diets and counseling, we still need to surrender. It is only by the power of the Holy Spirit that captives are set free,  broken hearts are mend and food addicts stop eating!

Isaiah 61 :1-3 (NIV)

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,

to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

Did you read that: An Oak of Righteousness girl, that can be you!

Please pray for me this week dear friends, I will be needing it.

Sorry for not having a decent post for you, but please keep an eye on your Inbox if you are a member: You girls will be getting the first download links to my ebook on Thursday night:)

If you’re not a member, don’t be sad, you can get it too on Friday morning, bright and early:)

Lots of Love from a tired sister

Heleen

Sluggish Metabolism? Pump some Iron Baby!

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Weight training
Do you tend to ignore the whole weight-lifting-for-women-thing? Why? Are you afraid that you might bulk-up? Maybe you’re just using it as an excuse as I did. I’m ashamed to say that I was terrified of the pain involved! So there you have it, I’m a bit of a sissy.

However, I knew in the back of my mind that I should probably try and lift more than the 5 pound weight I have been lifting, oh so diligently (once a week), for the past ten years…hmmm…

I was inspired to do more through a friend’s blog. I’ve told you girls about her before, her name is Sandy Cooper and she wrote an excellent post on Friday about this very topic (must confess, I feel a little like a copycat:) You will find the post, 14 Reasons to Lift Weights on her blog, God Speaks Today, and it is just jam-packed with information about the benefits of training with weights. Please go check it out!

So, to get back to my point: About six months ago I was doing cardio consistently, but not so much anything beyond that. Then under the inspiration of Sandy I set out to read Body for Life by Bill Phillips. It’s a great book and gave me the push I needed to start pumping some iron myself.

I wrote an article Weight Training is for Women too back then when I just started and this  is a quote from that article: “My posse of treadmill walkers looked at me funny. The men with the big arms looked at me with suspicion, but the few strong ladies around gave me “the nod”. You know which nod I’m talking about, the one that says: “You go girl!”

So where am I now with all of this?
Well, cardio, healthy eating and taking care of my spiritual and emotional well being helped me to loose weight in the past, but I have to say that my metabolism only picked up it’s pace the day I strapped on those funny gloves, loaded up those weights beyond a familiar number and surprised myself.

Did it hurt? You betcha!

Was it worth it? Seriously, it was worth all the sweat, pain and tears!

How do I know my metabolism is faster though?
Well, I can tell that things are working as they should again by the fact that I don’t immediately gain 5 pounds from eating 5 cookies. In fact even if I have a lousy day food wise, I don’t gain any weight (if I just get on track the next day of course). This was not true for me in the past. After years of  starving, binging, purging and following all kinds of diets, my metabolism was sluggish, to say the least. It would take me months to shed only a few pounds, and then I could pick those few pounds up in a matter of days! It was so frustrating and discouraging.

Weight training also brought some other benefits to my life:
I have more energy and I discovered that my arms actually don’t have to wiggle and jiggle like they used to. Those jiggly arms used to be a  great source of amusements and entertainment to the men in my life! However, this summer I’ve  showed them:) I even ventured out and bought some T-shirts!

Seriously, the weight training also improved my endurance during cardio, playing with the kids and… well… lets just say it has benefit my marriage in unexpected ways:)

Something else I got from reading Body for Life: I was inspired to do cardio for 3 days a week and weight training for  the other 3 days. This was huge for me! I was a sound believer in cardio 5 times a week (at least). However, it was really hard to stay consistent. It was just such a huge undertaking, hitting the treadmill 5 times a week!

So, taking a break and doing it every other day has been a big mental motivator. I do weights on my “tired” days, such as Mondays, and schedule cardio for the days that I’m bound to not be so exhausted. It has worked for six months now and it has made exercise so much easier and more enjoyable.

So I’m extending the challenge to you: How about giving it a try? Go get that book at the library, and go read Sandy’s blog. It will inspire you for sure and you might just be joining me in testifying about: “The wonder of having a metabolism that actually works again!”

If I could do it, I promise that you can do it too girl.

This was something way”unnatural” for me, but it gave me a huge shove towards victory.

Go pump some iron, baby!

Love
Heleen

Stop the Nonsense: Chase your Dream!

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Little boy [1280x768]Remember when you were just a little kid and you had big dreams and wonderful aspirations for your future? What happened to those dreams? Do you still have a dream?

A friend recently recommended a book: Crazy Love by Francis Chan. The book really touched my heart, and I was surprised when I saw one of my favorite quotes in there.

The quote is by George Bernard Shaw:”This is the true joy of life: the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clot of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”

This quote meant a lot to me during a season when I was praying and seeking to find God’s purpose for my life. This is a crucial step in the process of breaking free from food struggles. People who have any form of addiction are usually so consumed by the addiction that they loose track of their identity and purpose in life.

While reading the book Crazy Love, I pondered over my purpose once more. Here I was after many years of freedom from food addiction and it seemed that I was at a crossroads again. I know that my greatest purpose in life is to love God with all my heart, soul and strength. But I felt sort of lost again in the day by day grind:

So what am I suppose to do again?
Why do I feel so without direction?
Why doesn’t my life make sense?
Why do I just go through the motions every day?
What happened to my passion, my dream of helping others?

Two things started to surface

Number one has to do with the above quote:
My dream has to be SOMETHING THAT I PERCEIVE AS GREAT!! Not my husband, my friend, my parents, my pastor or anybody else that has influence over my life. It has to be my passion related to gifts God gave me and desires He alone placed in my heart.

I can clearly see where things went wrong again. I started looking to others (again). I wanted to please those around me. I craved their praise and compliments more than the smile of God over my life.

Here’s what happens if it’s not YOUR DREAM:

1. You will have no passion for it
2. You will start to resent the person you hope to please
3. You will find any excuse to procrastinate
4. You will blame anything and anyone for your lack of motivation
5. You will feel like a failure and become depressed

The other thing I was reminded of: EXCUSES!

When I found God’s unique dream and purpose for my life I started out with a BANG! I had so much zeal and loved the feeling of being consumed with my purpose. It made everything so much easier. I could handle the mundane and challenging things life threw at me, because when I sat down to write or to counsel someone it brought joy to my life. I was a better friend, a patient mom and a fun wife. I didn’t even moan and groan about the dishes so much (seriously!)

However, dreams are not built over night. Our patience gets tested, our faith starts to waver. In the end it basically comes down to rolling up your sleeves and keeping at it. Just to clarify, I don’t like this part, but it is what it is:)

As far as the excuses go, they can sneak into your life in a very subtle way:

1. It usually comes in pretty packages with pretty bows: A prayer meeting, a woman’s tea, a manicure or a long phone conversation with a friend
2. It can also come in package marked IMPORTANT, OPEN RIGHT AWAY such as: A mountain of dirty laundry, a child’s request, a last minute report or grocery shopping

HOWEVER, IT’S ALL JUST EXCUSES! HOLDING YOU BACK FROM FULFILLING YOUR DREAM!

So I asked God to quicken His dream again in my heart, the real one, the reason He created me. Then I asked for my eyes to be opened to the excuses. It’s one thing to ramble off excuses to my friends, but it’s another story to try and sell it to an all seeing, all knowing God.

The people I know that are passionate about their goal in life don’t make excuses. They have busy and difficult lives too. They also have businesses, kids, husbands, pets and houses, but they’ve set their eyes on their dreams and they refuse to be moved!

A person who is not passionate about life, don’t have any time for anything, but the one who found her true calling always has time somehow to do more and serve more. It seems upside down, but honestly, it’s true! I’ve been both those people at different times in my life.

The best part for me: My relationship with God always seems to take off and grow deeper when I follow the path He has prepared for my life.

So I’ve decided to focus in again. I made up my mind to not get distracted from my dream, and stop making excuses. No more time for negative thoughts, fights about nonsense, wondering if people like me or not, thinking about a hurtful comment and brooding over my own shortcomings and inabilities.

God said to seek His Kingdom FIRST and all these other things will be added. So, it’s time again to zoom in on my dream and it starts with making time for the Dream Maker!

What about you dear sister. There is something about you… Nobody like you has ever been created and there will not be one like you again… You are unique in every way and you have a purpose over your life. I dare you to take up that purpose and run with it… It may be the thing that changes your life forever and makes the shackles of bondage fall from your ankles for good!

Lots of Love, Heleen

PS: I devoted a Week in my 12 Week Online Program to this topic.

I also recommend that you read the following books if you need guidance and encouragement to find the purpose God has for your life:
The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren
The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson
Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a relentless God by Francis Chan
Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge

My Weekend VOW OF SILENCE…

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I am fascinated by people who have the strength to take a vow of silence. Maybe you are not impressed at all. You might even need a “vow to speak up”, but for me, the self proclaimed chatterbox, being silent for a while seemed almost impossible.

So this past weekend, I did it.

Okay, of course I didn’t stop talking all together. That would really be impossible in my life and my house! There are little children running around, asking their mother all sorts of life altering questions such as “Where’s my pants” “Can I have some candy?” and “I’m bored, what can I do?”

No, my “vow of silence” more entailed not saying anything unless someone asked me a direct question.

Boy, did this turn my world upside down! I found myself with all these thoughts in my head that I had no way of getting out. It’s excruciating!

Weighing my thoughts and stopping them before they found their way out of my mouth turned out to be an eye opener to say the least. It was more like… an epiphany. I never realized how many of the things I say on a daily basis can be categorized as nagging, controlling, manipulating, hurtful or just plain idle.

I didn’t mean for it to be this way. I certainly don’t walk around cussing and yelling (just making sure you’re not picturing me as this cave woman with wild hair and crazy eyes:) However, I allowed little things to slip through the cracks and it became part of my speech.

The Bible says in James 3:5-6 that our tongue is a little flame that can cause a big wild fire (my translation)

I forgot all about taking control of my tongue. Sometimes I’m too late to take a thought captive, but then I can still stop a great fire by not letting that thought out of my mouth!

I’m just a Mom who runs a tight ship, right? Actually, as this little experiment proved, I can do a lot of damage, wildfire type damage, if I don’t double check the motives behind my words.

The thing that actually prompted me to do this experiment was the little issue of “control”. I know there’s a big link between control and food addiction in my life, so I read about it, studied the subject, prayed about it and wrote about it. However, it tends to sneak up on me and before I know it I’m trying to rule my little world again.

Before the Holy Spirit gently nudged me to do this little experiment, I never realized how many things would probably sort itself out if I just said…nothing…

I didn’t quite make it through the weekend. It was my husband’s birthday and I just couldn’t help myself. I simply had to help. There is no way that he could know exactly what he wanted to do with his own birthday, right?

Oh well… I have decided to extend my project into the coming weeks seeing that I still have a lot to learn about keeping my tongue. My family members are looking at me funny. Some are wondering out loud if I might be sick. I just smile and hug them. I have a secret…and I’m not telling…

 

Please make use of my resources if you need help with what goes in and out of your mouth:

  • 12 Week Online Program and Private Forum for Women Struggling with Food

  • Health Coaching – For women who need to lose weight while dealing with the spiritual and emotional issues behind their food struggle. A great tool to use with the 12 week online program.
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