I want to apologize to all my loyal readers. I have not been able to write on my blog much recently simply because I find myself in the midst of one of life’s unforeseen storms.
My husband lost his job a few weeks ago and like so many others in this situation waves of uncertainty, anxiety, and financial stress rocked our boat pretty bad and left me feeling sick to my stomach.
I guess you can say I’ve been given a good old fashion faith test. Do I practice what I preach? Will I actually lean on God when it matters most?
Of course my type A personality will never allow me to simply sit back and wait patiently. I always first have to try my best to save a person or a situation. But in the end, after much kicking, screaming, and striving this girl always comes face to face with her own limitations. This is the place where I finally throw in the towel and hand the reigns to God. I’m happy to report that God is still enough, He is still our provider and the only ONE who sustains us in times of trouble.
Andrew Murray describes this fight with self before we surrender very well in his book “Absolute Surrender’. Peter followed Jesus for years but his total surrender to the will of God only came after He denied Jesus three times. We see in Scripture how he wept bitterly when he came face to face with his own flesh and the realization that he can not do anything on his own after all. This is a good place to be, at the end of ourselves, where we surrender and God takes over. Paul came to that same place, as did many other people throughout the Bible.
So the challenge is before me once again:
- Will I keep trying and failing on my own or will I surrender to God?
- Will I keep working into the wee morning hours to make more money in our businesses or will I trust that God gives to his beloved in her sleep?
- Will I try my best, and promise myself daily, not to turn to food when the stress levels rise in our home, or will I realize again that only God can help me with this?
- Will I control and manipulate people to fix our situation, or will I pray more and ask God to take full control of the situation?
Our lives are truly marked by our surrender. If we surrender to God DAILY, LIFE flows into our lives. But if we try to rule and run our own lives, we actually surrender to the enemy and let DEATH (sin, anxiety and fear) creep back into our lives.
I still find myself smack in the eye of that storm, but I’m clinging to two passage in particular. The one is Psalms 3 and the other Jeremiah 17:5-8
This is what the LORD says:
“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who depends on flesh for his strength
and whose heart turns away from the LORD.
He will be like a bush in the wastelands;
he will not see prosperity when it comes.
He will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.
“But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”
I refuse to turn into a dried-up bush in the desert! I keep reminding myself that the biggest mistake I can make for this day is to put my faith and trust in man (myself, my husband, or my friends). They can make me feel better, but if all is said and done it’s only God who can make the impossible possible.
I know I’m not alone in my storm today.
So I want to pray for each one of you ladies who find yourself in the eye of a storm this very minute. May God hold you very close while He works out the details and heals the wounds. If this storm or situation brought you to the end of yourself, the end of your strength, and the end of your plans, may you learn to surrender all to Him and trust like a little child trusts her mom or dad.
Nothing, nothing, nothing is impossible with our God!
Lots of love
Heleen