Month: March 2010

Do you Believe?

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Have you prayed to be set free from food addiction for years?

Have you asked God to heal your child, repair your marriage, supply finances, or give you your heart’s desire for a long time?

After all this time, you might be telling others that you still trust God and you have faith, but somewhere along the line, you stopped believing…

You can be honest with God you know. He already knows what you are thinking and what is going on in your heart.

Unfortunately unbelief is one of those “poisons” that creeps up on us. We don’t wake up one morning and BOOM! no more faith. It usually happens gradually as we keep falling into the same sin, keep waiting for an answer, or keep praying for the same thing year after year.

Remember the woman with the issue of blood who only received healing  after enduring many years of suffering?

One thing about her hits me every time I read that passage: She had faith…she literally crawled through the crowd to touch the hem of His garment because she was convinced that if she could only touch His clothes, she will be healed.

Dearest woman of God, I beg you not to give in to unbelief. Unbelief can keep you from your miracle, your freedom, and your growth along the way.

Be honest with God, then repent from unbelief, and ask Him to restore your faith. You are in step with the Word if you ask for faith:

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see”
(Hebrews 11:1 NIV)

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6 NIV)

“We live by faith, not by sight.” (2 Corinthians 5:7 NIV)

IT IS EASTER!

No better time of year to start believing again that Jesus died for YOU! He came to set YOU free! He came to heal YOUR broken heart!

He cares about every part of you that is in pain or bound by sin, yes even your disordered way of eating.

Come to the cross… and may you experience the Savior’s touch this Easter dearest woman of God.

Love, Heleen


The Wonderful Cross
Isaac Watts (adapted by Chris Tomlin)

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died
My Richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride

See from His head His hands His feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown

Oh the wonderful cross (2x)
Bids me come and die and find
that I may truly live

Oh the wonderful cross (2x)
All who gather here by grace
draw near and bless your name

Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an off’ring far too small
Love so amazing so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all

Oh the wonderful cross (2x)
Bids me come and die and find
that I may truly live

Oh the wonderful cross (2x)
All who gather here by grace
draw near and bless your name

Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all

and the beauty and the shame
in the glory of His name
Oh the wonderful cross

Oh the wonderful cross (2x)
Bids me come and die and find
that I may truly live

Oh the wonderful cross (2x)
All who gather here by grace
draw near and bless your name

Click here to listen to this song performed by Chris Tomlin


Isaac Watts

Time to Get Angry!

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Maybe it’s time to get angry. I felt my blood pressure rise and a “holy anger” came over me while reading a few emails of ladies these past weeks. These were emails of pain, bondage, and hopelessness and while my heart was bleeding for each one of these precious women, I was also getting so mad at the enemy.

I’m angry because of a vicious lie Satan has been using for ages to keep us in bondage. It’s the lie of “you can’t possibly come to God in this disgusting state that you are in”

Do you realize how many women are kept in bondage daily because they believe:
“I can only go back to church once I’ve lost some weight”
“I will join that women’s Bible study once I’ve stopped gambling”
“I will talk to a pastor after I’ve ended this relationship”
“I can not pray while I still have these evil thoughts”
“I can not read my Bible while I still yell at my kids”

Ladies, IT’S TIME TO GET MAD AT THE ENEMY!

We don’t have the power to save or change ourselves.  So if the enemy can just get us to believe the lie that we have to fix ourselves before coming to God we are trapped!

I am adding this part about the prodigal son that I’ve posted before because it is so important to hear again.

God is calling you, just as you are. You might be dealing with incredible pain, shame, or anxiety at this very moment. You might have just eaten so much food that you are in physical pain. Maybe you just purged and you feel shame hanging like a cloak around your shoulders. Maybe you are past all these feelings and you just feel a great numbness inside of you…

Seriously, God is waiting for you! He saw everything you did and He is still waiting and calling…

The voices of condemnation, guilt and shame that you hear are not of God but of the enemy who wants to destroy you (John 10:10)

I would like to remind you today of our Father’s heart. The parable in Luke 15 about the prodigal son gives us a peek into the heart of our heavenly father. He is looking for you, waiting for you to return to Him. He doesn’t insist that you first clean up your act or that you get rid of your filth before you come to Him. On the contrary, when He sees you taking the first few steps, He will run to you with open arms, welcoming you and showering you with love.

Please don’t try to first get “better” before you come to God. It’s the enemy’s age old trick to keep us in bondage.

It is only in God’s presence that we are cleaned and changed. You can not change yourself, but He has all the power to heal your broken heart and help you change the habits and addictions you’ve picked up to numb the pain. Better yet… He wants to heal the pain you are trying to numb…

Listen to what the Amplified Bible says about the father of the prodigal son:
“So he got up and came to his [own] father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was moved with pity and tenderness [for him]; and he ran and embraced him and kissed him [fervently]” (Luke 15:20)(emphasis mine)

Do you see that the father was moved with pity and tenderness! Our heavenly Father has that same pity and tenderness towards us every time we come to Him, even in our filthy state. This might not be the first time you come to Him, but PLEASE don’t stop coming.

I found freedom from bulimia when I started crying out to God EVERY TIME I was binging or purging. I would cry and tell Him how bad I felt about myself, how ashamed I was, and how I needed Him to help me. He heard, He took pity on me, and drew me close to his heart with tenderness. You are his child too, He has no favorites, He wants to do the same for you!

Just run to Him my dear friend, repent, and accept His forgiveness. Jesus came so you can be free (Isaiah 61)

Your sister in Christ
Heleen

Anybody for Some Dancing?

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I know exercise might not be your favorite topic, it’s not mine either, but let’s face it: Spring is in the air and our bodies are itching to get moving, even if our minds are still glued to the couch!

My battle in this area is no secret, so fortunately I don’t have to pretend with  you ladies. For many, many moons exercise in my book meant only one thing: TORTURE!

Every time I started using exercise to get rid of some unwanted rolls around my mid section, I found myself  despising it with a passion. I would get up in the morning and mumble to myself “This is just not natural, nobody does this, I must be crazy…” Weekends were even worse… who would want to “spoil” a weekend with exercise?

WHEN YOU EXERCISE TO LOSE WEIGHT:

1. You might use exercise as a dangerous method to “purge” after a binge

2. It might become part of your “diet-routine”, so you only do it when you’ve gained weight but you never seem to keep it up.

HOWEVER, IF YOU EXERCISE FOR YOUR HEALTH THINGS CAN CHANGE RAPIDLY!

Come on…change with me…let’s do it to have more energy, feel healthier, have more confidence, enjoy our kids, dance with our husbands, have glowing skin and shiny hair!

Their are so many benefits to exercise. One of it is weight loss, but don’t let it be the reason you do it girl, IT IS NOT A LASTING INCENTIVE!

Think outside the box. Why settle for the ordinary? If you dig a little deeper you might find a tennis player, a swimmer, a runner, or a salsa dancer hiding in your heart.

Do it for the glory of God! Let it be your sacrifice of praise!

Moving for Christ!
Heleen

PS: Why are you ladies always so quiet when I talk about exercise? Pray tell what you are doing, or I will be convinced that I’m the only one who crawls out of  bed in the morning to get to the gym, and feel sorry for myself…:)

Should I Give up Dessert Forever?

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ABSTINENCE OR MODERATION?

In the world of Food Struggles the search for the “perfect treatment” continues, and in Christian circles, the question whether one should be abstinent from certain food or learn to eat all food in moderation is an ongoing debate.

What is a woman to do?

Say goodbye to sweets forever, or eat everything, but only one bite at a time?

My Humble Opinion: Stop wondering about it and DO what you’ve gotta do girl!

Actually, both of these “solutions” have merit:

Gluttony, a sin that most ladies with food struggles deal with, is in itself a clear indication that we are dealing with eating too much and the solution should, therefore, be to repent and eat less, through the help of the Holy Spirit of course.

However, a struggle with food also points to the sin of idolatry. Certain food can become an idol when we turn to it to make us happy, calm our nerves, and bring meaning to our lives. In the case of idolatry, we need to repent from idolatry and then remove the “idol” from the throne of our hearts and give our hearts back to God.

All of this can only be done by surrendering our food struggle to God. However, we have a part to play. Numerous verses in the Bible makes it clear that we are stewards over our bodies. Godly wisdom and common sense seem to apply here. An alcoholic would be wise not to work at a bar, and a person with a porn or gambling addiction would be wise to stay away from the computer especially at times when there is no accountability (late at night). In fact, I know people who got so tangled up in chat rooms and online communities that they had to get rid of their computers at home altogether in order to stay free. Shouldn’t we, in the same manner, be wise to remove the food that became a constant stumbling block from our lives? Are we being wise if we go to places where we could be tempted with food that always gets us in trouble?

Some scientists believe that the alteration of the brain, found in drug addicts and alcoholics, might also occur in people who have struggled with food addiction for a long time. If this is true then there should be a period of abstinence from the “addictive food” for our brains to repair before we can safely reach for those foods again (if ever)

Okay, so this is still a very controversial subject and not enough research has been done to say for sure. So let’s not call it a “brain alteration”, let’s just call it a deeply ingrained habit. Do you honestly think that you will overcome this “habit”  if you are daily surrounded by the food that is directly linked to past bouts of overeating or binge eating, or will you be pulled into the familiar path of your long-standing habit?

Here is what I’ve learned in my own life through trial and error:

  • If I keep my “addictive food” laying around the house, I’m not being wise.
  • I’m playing with fire if I start to bargain, telling myself, “I’ve not eaten _______ for so long, surely I can eat some”.
  • If I start to feel sorry for myself when I see others eat the foods I can’t, then I’m usually close to the verge of denial and in need of some truth to set me straight.
  • I can eat sugar and dessert, but I know exactly which ones are “safe” for me to eat, and it’s no coincidence that those are also good for my body.

THE TRUTH: The food that is on my list of “addictive foods”, and that I need to avoid in order to stay free, is food that my athletic friends will not even dream of touching. In other words: It’s bad for my body anyway, and the sadness I feel for not being able to have it is an emotional attachment, NOT A LOGICAL ONE.

Now I don’t deny that some ladies just have a problem with eating too much. They don’t have an emotional attachment to a certain food, they only desire a lot of food. In this case, it will make total sense to repent from the sin of gluttony and find a healthy food plan such as Weight Watchers or First Place to teach you how to be a good steward and eat smaller portions of food.

However, for the most part, if we struggle with eating disorders and food addiction we have both the sin of gluttony and idolatry present in our lives: We love food and we want lots of it.

This brings me to “A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do!”

YOU MIGHT NEED TO TAKE A LOOK AT BOTH: You might need to learn how to eat the right portions as well as get rid of your addictive foods. I’m not saying this lightly at all, it is SUPER difficult, so please don’t try and do it alone. Join a 12 Step Program where others are doing the same thing (preferably a Christian program such as Celebrate Recovery or an OA group that is Christian based and meet at a church) ALSO GET ADDITIONAL CHRISTIAN COUNSELING IF POSSIBLE.

You can also join my 12-week program to learn how to lay down your addictive foods and surrender your food struggle to God.

WARNING: Of course the enemy will tell you that this is just nonsense, it sounds like a diet! Let me assure you, getting rid of addictive foods is NOT A DIET. You are not restricting any food group in order to lose weight. You are getting rid of food that usually doesn’t even belong to any food group, and that you will not dream of giving to a young child. Why? It’s usually sugar and fat coated poison!

I’m not trying to convince you that you have a food addiction if you don’t have one. So please don’t get mad at me if you believe strictly in moderation and a healthy non-restrictive food plan (plus surrender to God of course) has helped you find freedom in the past. I also make room in my program for ladies who want to take this route instead of eliminating any food, because there most certainly is not a one-size-fits-all approach for everyone. I discuss the different options in Week 3 of my program.

I’m just asking you to be honest with yourself on these few matters:

  • Has your life become totally unmanageable again in spite of following a healthy food plan?
  • Do you have constant sadness and depression that lingers under the surface of your life again?
  • Have you been free of this oppression before ONLY when you got rid of your addictive foods and given your heart back to God?

In the end, you know yourself, and if you let the Holy Spirit search your heart, YOU WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO!

Hope this helped you ladies make sense of the big debate over Abstinence and Moderation.

Love,

Heleen

Here are some resources for you:

NEW: INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING online or in Beaverton Oregon
Call Heleen at (503) 914-2749 or Schedule online: www.LifeSolutions.io

Click on the image below to learn more about the 12 Week Online Program: Women Struggling with Food

Read my story. Click on the image below to download my ebook: God will I ever be free?

Appetite for Freedom WORKBOOK and DVD.
A great resource for small groups or individual use.
Click on the image below to find out more:


The BIG issue of INSECURITY!

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I must admit, I’m blessed beyond what I’ve imagined by Beth Moore’s latest book “So Long Insecurity:You’ve been a bad friend to us”

She said so many profound things, but one simple sentence hit me hard: “Worship in it simplest form is FOCUS”

I keep reminding all of you wonderful ladies that our focus needs to change from WEIGHT LOSS to HEALTH if we ever want to get out of this nightmare of eating disorders.

However, reading this book and looking at my own life, made me realize that there is more. There is a “deeper level” if you will.

Our focus will probably never shift from WEIGHT LOSS to HEALTH if we don’t first move our focus from OURSELVES to GOD.

Beth speaks about a deep insecurity that plagues the lives of so many. I’ve known this to be true in my own life and almost every lady I’ve encountered that has a struggle with food. Deep down at the bottom of our beings lies an insecurity that drives us to please others, to strive for perfection, to stay in control of our surroundings and the people we love, and to maintain or reach a certain weight AT ALL COST! Way too much stress and pressure for one person! No wonder that same person will reach for the cookie jar at the end of the day to quiet the voice that tells her “You will never be good enough!”

The vicious cycle of eating disorders literally gets fueled by insecurity day after day.

I think the main reason I like Beth so much is her honesty. I marvel at how she just comes out with the truth about her life, and it always inspires me to put the “mask” aside and tell the truth as well.

I would so have loved to have pictures everywhere on my blog of me in a number 4 jeans and a tiny T-shirt that says “I beat eating disorders”. I would also love to tell you that I have not had any negative thoughts or overate in 20 years. But this is my insecurities talking…because the truth is that I’ve been able to write on here and keep this website and forum running because my not-so-perfect body, and not-so-perfect life is a daily reminder that I need God. When I eat healthy, exercise daily, and keep God my #1 focus, then nothing in my life looks quite like the media and our society portrays “perfection”.  God’s idea of HOLY is light years away from the world’s idea of PERFECT. It might not include that small dress you wore in high school, and it might not include the perfect family you see on TV, but it WILL include a life of abundance that the Bible promises..a life that really matters… a life that is truly secure in God and as a result glorifies Him.

I have been truthful with you ladies about where I’m at: I have been free from bulimia for almost 10 years now, as well as from binge eating, but I do have times where I turn to food for comfort because of the stress caused by an old familiar pang of insecurity.

I am so grateful for this book, because as she rightly says, people don’t talk about it. So many men and women suffer from a deep sense of insecurity and we try to find security anywhere and everywhere, but it is NO WHERE EXCEPT IN CHRIST.

I don’t know why we always have to search for it in so many places and why we almost always have to find ourselves in a deep pit before we finally put our security in Christ, but it’s definitely true for most of us.

Looking for security in a mate, in appearance, in status, in marital bliss, in education, in family, in children, in financial stability, in position at church,  in fame, in the perfect job, in beauty, or in a thin body…IS FUTILE!!

In chasing any of the above our FOCUS STAY ON OURSELVES and NOT ON GOD! This FOCUS ON SELF can come in the form of SELF CONFIDENCE or SELF LOATHING.

Think about it like this:

If we remain focused on ourselves...will we ever be able to not worry about our weight, even at a size 2?
If we remain focused on ourselves…will we ever be satisfied with our house, kids and husbands the way they are without trying to control them?
If we remain focused on ourselves…will we ever be able to just love people (especially women) and not see them as rivals?
If we remain focused on ourselves…will we ever be able to give of ourselves to others and in ministry, regardless of how we look on the outside?

WORSHIP IN IT SIMPLEST FORM IS FOCUS…

What or who do you focus on?
What or who do you in fact WORSHIP?

It shook me to the core these past day. I still focus way too much on ME, and as a result I focus on the things that I think will bring me security.

GOOD NEWS LADIES! This journey that we are on have already steered us in the right direction. It all points to GOD as the only source of healing, comfort and yes…security. I’ve written a lot about it in Week 6 of my program. However, I have learned much from this book. It nudged me a little further along on this healing journey.

That said, DON’T EVER THINK THAT ONE THING YOU READ, LEARNED, OR HEARD FROM GOD ALONG THIS JOURNEY WAS FOR NOTHING. The day you’ve given your food struggle to Him and prayed your first prayer was the day He started bringing various forms of healing, truth, and breakthrough into your life. Your chains are falling off one by one as you daily draw closer to your only Source of security girl!

I’m excited for you ladies to also read this book once you’re done with the program or when you get to Week 6. It’s a very practical book and she gives steps to start dealing with the insecurity in our lives immediately. It would be fun to talk more about it on the forum as well.

Love you ladies!

Heleen